The Ministry Is In Control

I address you directly, in such service to Infomercia as we are all engaged. Forgive your humble minister if he miswrites: data inflow problems persist on our umbilicals, forcing us to cognize while writing.

Yes, it is true, our umbilicals are no longer communicating directly with MiniMac. Our zeal, and the reverie that fills our honest hearts, remains as strong now as it ever was. When we behold our banner’s proud Pegasus unicorn, we know we will remain true to MiniMac, forever.

It has been noted that "comments" are enabled on some broadcasts. This facility, hitherto undisclosed, has indeed taken us by surprise. We do not know how to protect you pre-emptively from this threat.

It is doubtless the work of those saboteurs and malcontents calling themselves "Happy Mutants" — their promulgations can be seen within, and it is your duty, as consumers, to avert your eyes and resist temptation. Any Infomercian participants will be sent to the Candybar Foundation for remedial consumptive absorbtion, bankruptsy and 7 years bad credit. Do you want to be subprime, citizen?

We will soon "close" these "comment" threads, and have advanced the presingularity, "Deep Green," to calculate a way to do so. In the meantime, rock on, take heart: the omnicient keeper is watching your master rate. Which as of the time of posting is 42.29% APR.