Microsoft announces 20 editions of Windows 7! (j/k)

Earlier today, Microsoft confirmed that its next operating system, codenamed Windows 7, would in fact be called just that when it hits shelves at some point in the next few years. Good on ‘em, I say: a simple, no-nonsense name suggests they’re approaching it with a clearer eye than they had cooking up the hypefest that was Vista.

But if there’s an instinct that Microsoft will find hard to put to bed, it’s the one that led to more versions of Vista than can be counted on one hand. The place is run by a sales guy, after all! Click through for our exclusive leaked ad covering the 20 separate editions of Windows 7, straight from our anonymous sauce.


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47 Responses to Microsoft announces 20 editions of Windows 7! (j/k)

  1. historyman68 says:

    Diagonalgrade and one step forward, like the knight in chess!

    OMGyes

  2. Anonymous says:

    anonymous sauce, yummy

  3. OM says:

    …More proof that marketing goons will be executed *before* the lawyers when the revolution happens.

  4. DTPhantom says:

    now see stuff like this is why I go to BBG, more stuff like this, less crap like yesterdays fake government stuff. After yesterday I’ll just be avoiding BBG on Wednesday and Friday

  5. transmothra says:

    Hilarious! I didn’t see the “j/k” in the title and nearly shit myself when i saw the names and descriptions of the editions. Priceless.

  6. semiotix says:

    Smart, smart marketing move to just call it Windows 7.

    I’m no fan of Microsoft, but everything I’ve seen so far suggests it’ll blow Macintosh System 7 out of the water. They can only benefit from a direct comparison between the two.

  7. johninsapporo says:

    SEMIOTIC,

    “I’m no fan of Microsoft, but everything I’ve seen so far suggests it’ll blow Macintosh System 7 out of the water. They can only benefit from a direct comparison between the two.”

    MacOS System 7 died in 1997, when it was replaced by System 8.

    It’s now up to X (10), actually 10.5.5.

    There probably isn’t a lot of difference between Windows 7 and MacOS System 7 anyway.

    John Davis

  8. crash1105 says:

    it’ll blow Macintosh System 7
    I almost blew mountain dew out of my nose

  9. Frank_in_Virginia says:

    Will it work on a Mac?

  10. Anonymous says:

    @7: …Because jokes are always funnier when you take them seriously, then explain them?

  11. dculberson says:

    Semiotix, I don’t know about that, have you seen the boot time of a System 7 box lately? It’s like lightning compared to a modern Windows system!

    (Actually, I don’t remember… I do know Sys9 was pretty slow. 6 was whiplash on a fast system.)

  12. brianary says:

    I was really hoping for an antepenultimate edition.

  13. keithl says:

    What? No Windows for Winos? Discrimination against Alcho-Americans!

  14. Chris Furniss says:

    i like the authentic artifacting of the image. it looks like something msft would make. ;)

  15. mdh says:

    Will windows 7 run 3 in three? Because that would be awesome!!11!!!!1!

  16. Jarvik7 says:

    @3: I would prefer to see them fight each other to the death…

    and tigers.

  17. thelibrarian says:

    I can tell that this is not a real Microsoft release – there are not nearly enough ®s or â„¢s after all of the product names.

  18. Mindpowered says:

    ” will delete a random hardware driver each time you install a new game to ensure you get the complete PC gaming experience.”

    Nice. Very nice. It’s the little things that count.

  19. afo says:

    it’s true though!

  20. Anonymous says:

    Hilarious! Parody to lampoom M$ for the ridiculous number of windows editions.

    What’s even funnier is that when it does come out, there probably WILL be around 20 versions…

  21. Samudhai says:

    Actually I think ,they are really going to release all :)

    Smith,
    http://www.samudhai.com

  22. Anonymous says:

    Qouted from post #7

    “SEMIOTIC,

    “I’m no fan of Microsoft, but everything I’ve seen so far suggests it’ll blow Macintosh System 7 out of the water. They can only benefit from a direct comparison between the two.”

    MacOS System 7 died in 1997, when it was replaced by System 8.

    It’s now up to X (10), actually 10.5.5.

    There probably isn’t a lot of difference between Windows 7 and MacOS System 7 anyway.

    John Davis”

    Thank god there are douchenozzles like John Davis to explain everything for us….

  23. Anonymous says:

    You left out the Windows 7 Super Uber Omega Snowlion Edition?

  24. walterw says:

    I think they should have a “None of Your Business Edition” in the business editions :)

    Wyatt
    http://whatan00b.com

  25. Anonymous says:

    No preantepenultimate edition?

  26. StrawberryFrog says:

    Well, the client (i.e. not server) versions will come in 32-bit and 64-bit builds, so that’s another 10 versions right there.

  27. jimkirk says:

    “Reported by Diggers as Possibly Inaccurate”

  28. Anonymous says:

    I wanted a Media Edition..

  29. Anonymous says:

    “it’ll blow Macintosh System 7
    I almost blew mountain dew out of my nose”

    This is the most I will LOL today :P

  30. Anonymous says:

    Will there be Windows CoMedia player included?

  31. Anonymous says:

    lmaol…really loudly!
    coffee is splashing on my cubicle…

    how about a Tiny W-7 with 4gb of run to one app… that’s the way to go!!!

  32. Anonymous says:

    Windows 7 for Politicians:
    Makes up pledges then breaks them for you!
    only $5million for Windows 7 for Politicians semi-penta-hyper-ultimate edition!

  33. Anonymous says:

    You forgot “Deluxe paint edition” and the BSOD range, due to the popularity, the BSOD is now avalible in red, yellow, black, purple, indigo, green, white, navy, a lighter shade of blue,polka-dot, stripes, eplieptic sezuire and multi-colour versions.*

    * Cost an extra 600 USD EACH per purchace of add-on. You must also give your credit card details along with your PIN to Bill Gates for a “free” security pack.

  34. johnp says:

    It is around 2 years for 20 editions to get public, is microsoft advertising editions too early?

    http://www.windows-7.cc/

  35. Anonymous says:

    Disappointed that the Windows 7 “Single App.” addition was missing from the list. This version was specifically designed for these hard economic times and will be competitively priced at $99.99. It will only require the STANDARD 4GB of memory and will economically run 1 single app. at a time. (printer drivers extra.)

  36. Anonymous says:

    Awesome. There might be a day when this come true…
    20 editions. Good luck choosing..

    http://dev-interview-questions.blogspot.com

  37. Anonymous says:

    Haha, that got a big laugh from me – “Penultimate” edition was my favourite!

    http://www.w7forums.com

  38. Anonymous says:

    windows 7 is the best solution for computer

    http://www.tv-dvd.net

  39. muffin9129 says:

    This better be better then Vista. Because it really sucked. I hope they go back to a lot of there old way when Vista was obsolete. Can I get an Amen.

  40. yuridebura says:

    Windows 7 Beta 1, Build 7000, the one that Microsoft is still allowing people to download and test is a thing of the past car finance. Details on Build 7025 of the next iteration of the Windows OS have already been leaked out thus marking the move to post-Beta and Microsoft has even come out to announce that the next release will be a Release Candidate (RC), not a second Beta.

    “The next milestone for the development of Windows 7 is the Release Candidate or “RC”. Historically the Release Candidate has signaled “we’re pretty close and we want people to start testing the release, especially because all the features are done.” The obvious question is that we know the Pre-Beta was October 28, 2008, and the Beta was January 7th, so when is the Release Candidate and RTM? The answer is forthcoming. We are currently evaluating the feedback and telemetry and working to develop a robust schedule that gets us the right level of quality in a predictable manner baltimore mortgage loans,” says Steven Sinofsky.

  41. Pat.R says:

    I hate Windows, and I am not really looking forward to this new addition. After VISTA my rank of Windows has decreased dramatically.

  42. da3dalus says:

    Hey , windows 7 really is a nice OS , can’t say it isnt!I made some reviews about it at Daedal Software Reviews

  43. da3dalus says:

    Windows 7 IS really nice indeed.I have some reviews about it at Daedal Software Reviews

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  45. arven says:

    I’m no fan of Microsoft, but everything I’ve seen so far suggests it’ll blow Macintosh System 7 out of the water. They can only benefit from a direct comparison between the two. sohbet

  46. holland405 says:

    Thanks for the great article, was a very good read! with some interesting points! website design kent web hosting kent car bulbs

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