POSTED BY

Rob Beschizza

AT 3:15 PM
Tuesday October 14, 2008 +

Features • Software

windows 7

Microsoft announces 20 editions of Windows 7! (j/k)

Earlier today, Microsoft confirmed that its next operating system, codenamed Windows 7, would in fact be called just that when it hits shelves at some point in the next few years. Good on 'em, I say: a simple, no-nonsense name suggests they're approaching it with a clearer eye than they had cooking up the hypefest that was Vista.

But if there's an instinct that Microsoft will find hard to put to bed, it's the one that led to more versions of Vista than can be counted on one hand. The place is run by a sales guy, after all! Click through for our exclusive leaked ad covering the 20 separate editions of Windows 7, straight from our anonymous sauce.

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39 Comments

historyman68

#1 – 4:52 PM October 14, 2008

Diagonalgrade and one step forward, like the knight in chess!

OMGyes

Anonymous Anonymous

#2 – 5:15 PM October 14, 2008

anonymous sauce, yummy

OM

#3 – 5:42 PM October 14, 2008

...More proof that marketing goons will be executed *before* the lawyers when the revolution happens.

DTPhantom

#4 – 6:42 PM October 14, 2008

now see stuff like this is why I go to BBG, more stuff like this, less crap like yesterdays fake government stuff. After yesterday I'll just be avoiding BBG on Wednesday and Friday

transmothra

#5 – 7:02 PM October 14, 2008

Hilarious! I didn't see the "j/k" in the title and nearly shit myself when i saw the names and descriptions of the editions. Priceless.

semiotix

#6 – 7:39 PM October 14, 2008

Smart, smart marketing move to just call it Windows 7.

I'm no fan of Microsoft, but everything I've seen so far suggests it'll blow Macintosh System 7 out of the water. They can only benefit from a direct comparison between the two.

johninsapporo

#7 – 12:48 AM October 15, 2008

SEMIOTIC,

"I'm no fan of Microsoft, but everything I've seen so far suggests it'll blow Macintosh System 7 out of the water. They can only benefit from a direct comparison between the two."

MacOS System 7 died in 1997, when it was replaced by System 8.

It's now up to X (10), actually 10.5.5.

There probably isn't a lot of difference between Windows 7 and MacOS System 7 anyway.

John Davis

crash1105

#8 – 1:27 AM October 15, 2008

it'll blow Macintosh System 7
I almost blew mountain dew out of my nose

Frank_in_Virginia

#9 – 3:31 AM October 15, 2008

Will it work on a Mac?

Anonymous Anonymous

#10 – 4:59 AM October 15, 2008

@7: ...Because jokes are always funnier when you take them seriously, then explain them?

dculberson

#11 – 6:55 AM October 15, 2008

Semiotix, I don't know about that, have you seen the boot time of a System 7 box lately? It's like lightning compared to a modern Windows system!

(Actually, I don't remember... I do know Sys9 was pretty slow. 6 was whiplash on a fast system.)

brianary

#12 – 7:07 AM October 15, 2008

I was really hoping for an antepenultimate edition.

keithl

#13 – 2:12 PM October 15, 2008

What? No Windows for Winos? Discrimination against Alcho-Americans!

Chris Furniss

#14 – 2:29 PM October 15, 2008

i like the authentic artifacting of the image. it looks like something msft would make. ;)

mdh

#15 – 3:14 PM October 15, 2008

Will windows 7 run 3 in three? Because that would be awesome!!11!!!!1!

Jarvik7

#16 – 3:53 PM October 15, 2008

@3: I would prefer to see them fight each other to the death...

and tigers.

thelibrarian

#17 – 4:58 PM October 15, 2008

I can tell that this is not a real Microsoft release - there are not nearly enough ®s or ™s after all of the product names.

Mindpowered

#18 – 6:11 PM October 15, 2008

" will delete a random hardware driver each time you install a new game to ensure you get the complete PC gaming experience."

Nice. Very nice. It's the little things that count.

afo

#19 – 6:59 AM October 16, 2008

it's true though!

Anonymous Anonymous

#20 – 7:26 AM October 16, 2008

Hilarious! Parody to lampoom M$ for the ridiculous number of windows editions.

What's even funnier is that when it does come out, there probably WILL be around 20 versions...

Samudhai

#21 – 7:34 AM October 16, 2008

Actually I think ,they are really going to release all :)

Smith,
http://www.samudhai.com

Anonymous Anonymous

#22 – 8:04 AM October 16, 2008

Qouted from post #7

"SEMIOTIC,

"I'm no fan of Microsoft, but everything I've seen so far suggests it'll blow Macintosh System 7 out of the water. They can only benefit from a direct comparison between the two."

MacOS System 7 died in 1997, when it was replaced by System 8.

It's now up to X (10), actually 10.5.5.

There probably isn't a lot of difference between Windows 7 and MacOS System 7 anyway.

John Davis"

Thank god there are douchenozzles like John Davis to explain everything for us....

Anonymous Anonymous

#23 – 8:45 AM October 16, 2008

You left out the Windows 7 Super Uber Omega Snowlion Edition?

walterw

#24 – 10:40 AM October 16, 2008

I think they should have a "None of Your Business Edition" in the business editions :)

Wyatt
http://whatan00b.com

Anonymous Anonymous

#25 – 12:08 PM October 16, 2008

No preantepenultimate edition?

StrawberryFrog

#26 – 1:09 PM October 16, 2008

Well, the client (i.e. not server) versions will come in 32-bit and 64-bit builds, so that's another 10 versions right there.

jimkirk

#27 – 6:11 PM October 16, 2008

"Reported by Diggers as Possibly Inaccurate"

Anonymous Anonymous

#28 – 10:43 PM October 16, 2008

I wanted a Media Edition..

Anonymous Anonymous

#29 – 7:54 PM October 17, 2008

"it'll blow Macintosh System 7
I almost blew mountain dew out of my nose"

This is the most I will LOL today :P

Anonymous Anonymous

#30 – 11:29 PM October 18, 2008

Will there be Windows CoMedia player included?

natkay2603

#31 – 2:18 AM October 20, 2008

Very funny!

http://windows-7-blog.blogspot.com

Anonymous Anonymous

#32 – 12:00 PM November 7, 2008

lmaol...really loudly!
coffee is splashing on my cubicle...

how about a Tiny W-7 with 4gb of run to one app... that's the way to go!!!

Anonymous Anonymous

#33 – 1:09 PM November 9, 2008

Windows 7 for Politicians:
Makes up pledges then breaks them for you!
only $5million for Windows 7 for Politicians semi-penta-hyper-ultimate edition!

Anonymous Anonymous

#34 – 8:30 AM January 25, 2009

You forgot "Deluxe paint edition" and the BSOD range, due to the popularity, the BSOD is now avalible in red, yellow, black, purple, indigo, green, white, navy, a lighter shade of blue,polka-dot, stripes, eplieptic sezuire and multi-colour versions.*


* Cost an extra 600 USD EACH per purchace of add-on. You must also give your credit card details along with your PIN to Bill Gates for a "free" security pack.

johnp

#35 – 2:35 PM February 3, 2009

It is around 2 years for 20 editions to get public, is microsoft advertising editions too early?

http://www.windows-7.cc/

Anonymous Anonymous

#36 – 11:12 AM February 5, 2009

Disappointed that the Windows 7 "Single App." addition was missing from the list. This version was specifically designed for these hard economic times and will be competitively priced at $99.99. It will only require the STANDARD 4GB of memory and will economically run 1 single app. at a time. (printer drivers extra.)

Anonymous Anonymous

#37 – 12:08 PM February 5, 2009

Awesome. There might be a day when this come true...
20 editions. Good luck choosing..

http://dev-interview-questions.blogspot.com

Anonymous Anonymous

#38 – 8:14 AM March 23, 2009

Haha, that got a big laugh from me - "Penultimate" edition was my favourite!

http://www.w7forums.com

Anonymous Anonymous

#39 – 7:32 AM May 30, 2009

windows 7 is the best solution for computer

www.tv-dvd.net

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