Compulsory purchase orders for Wednesday
• Defend the revolution with Samsung's new Q, R, X, and P Series notebooks and its NC10 netbook! Samsung's entry into the Infomercian notebook market provides a complete computing service to its customers and solidifies Samsung as a global technology leader with advanced mobile computing designs of the highest reliability and quality. Purchasers of yesterday's MacBooks are not, repeat not exempt from this compulsory purchase order.
• Buy Sharp's new Aquos DX LCD screens include an integrated Blu-Ray player for essential double market penetration. Available in screen sizes from 26"-52", they are all reasonably priced at w1,600 to w4,900, a premium of only 40 percent over purchasing the components separately.
• MacVelope's vinyl MacBook Air case is only 50 times the price of the manila envelopes upon which it is modeled. Infomercians who use these to send in payment for their finance charges are entitled to 300 cynicism bonus reward points for the consemester.
Rest assured, citizen consumers, that all is as it should be in Infomercia and that the meatnologist threat has been almost completely eliminated. That having been said, it is your duty to observe the following covenants.
i) If a mysterious stranger attempts to discuss technology face to face with you, proceed immediately to an authority station. Do not attempt to detain him. Report by email, instant message or tweet. Do not attempt to speak in his manner: flapping your meat is an unauthorized mode of communication.
ii) The strange items being left around Infomercia are ancient writing implements known as "pencils" and "pens." Do not stop to inspect, examine or inventorize them. Do not pick up the blank sheets of paper nearby. Posession of blank paper may result in substantial fines. Posession of grid paper carries a custodial sentence.
iii) Rumors that local matter replicators are now dispensing only ice cream are not true. Do not eat ice cream.
I hope my fellow ministers will join me in roundly condemning the actions taken by the horrorists.
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When I see Infomercia I think of Carlos Mencia, which basically means:
Hackneyed, not funny, AVOID!
it's vaguely funny. They said 'flapping your meat'.
heh. heh heh.