I am incapable of keeping a house plant alive. My house is filled with the mummified fronds of plants as dessicated as if they had been french kissed by a race of vegetarian space vampires. I’m not really sure what I’m doing wrong: too much sun, not enough water, all vice versa? Who knows.
So I need this perambulating robot spider to follow the sun around the room. It is, perhaps, my only hope to ever have a lusciously verdant apartment, short of breaking out the plastic flora and stapling them to the walls. The only problem: on hungover mornings like today’s, while sweating and jacttitating on the couch, a scene presenting itself like the animated GIF above would be far too close to my nightmare fever dreams.