Say hello to iKey's BT-87-TP, a brutally minimalistic industrial keyboard with a touchpad built in. Though it lacks a separate numeric keypad, it doesn't chop the function keys and has Bluetooth to keep the world wire-free. Two AA batteries keep it fed.
Hot or not? I say hot, of course, but not as hot as it would be if it was made of stainless steel. You won't be buying this easily, however, as you must submit a "quote request"–a sure sign that they're not interested in selling to consumers.