Prevent head explosions with Ear Pressue Equalizer
Frequent flyers, we know the sight well. The plane begins to land and our inner ear pressure swells, feeling something like the gradual multiplication of wet socks within our brain pan. A clench of the jaw and our inner ear pressure pops, making us feel marginally better. Ah. But in front of us, a fellow passenger is not so lucky. He grabs the side of his head, frantically swallowing and yawning, his mouth frothing over with half-chewed Chiclets, but nothing happens. Now he's screaming. Oh god. Not again. The stewardess begins racing down the isle, brandishing an emergency trepanation kit, but you know its already too late. You hold your briefcase in front of your face just in time to avoid being splattered by a cerebral slurry and the shrapnel of teeth. Christ. These red eyes.
In short, fickle evolution has not blessed everyone with direct muscular control of their Eustachian Tube. The Ear Pressure Equalizer aims to level the playing field and halt, once and for all, the rash of Scanners-like head explosions that has been the airline industry's dirtiest little secret for over fifty years. Simply push the device into your ear, press the button and feel the aural orgasm of inner ear pressure releasing itself. It's $60, which is a tad expensive, but you really can't put a price on your skull not exploding.
Ear Pressure Equalizer [Proidee via Oh Gizmo]
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So what, you press yellow button to re-flate head?
Oh boy. What is this thing going to do to equalize pressure, puncture my eardrums? Magically teleport air molecules into (or out of) the inner ear? Or do I buy two (one for each ear, y'know) and keep them in during the entire flight?
I recommend a very very boring book. Read it. You'll yawn, which opens the Eustachian tubes. :-P
Hmmm this could be something for me i always have pressure on my ears since i had an ear-operation and chewing a gum doesnt help :/
Cheers
Chan from TheJunction
Is there any way in which this can actually work and not be super dangerous?
Despite the aesthetic pleasure of reading your prose I feel a great deal of pressure building up in my inner pedant that demands release.
It's the middle ear pressure that's the problem not the inner, and it's too little pressure in there, not too much.
To prevent the high air pressure on the ground from popping off the nose cone of the plane like a Champagne cork once it reaches 30,000+ feet the aircraft has automated systems that gradually decrease cabin pressure on take off.
On the way down the goal is to stop the plane being crushed like last nights beer can by the increasing air pressure, so cabin pressure is automatically increased to roughly match the external pressure.
The problem is caused by the low air pressure in the middle ear space (which has equalized with it's surroundings over the course of the flight) acting like a vacuum, encouraging the Eustacean tube to remain closed in those physiologically unlucky enough to have a narrow one or a feeble tensor veli palatini muscle. This results in the middle ear being unable to equalize the pressure and the increasing surrounding air pressure acts on the eardrum stretching into the middle ear space and causing the resultant agony.
Contrary to the badly and inaccurately written advertising blurb for this device yawning and swallowing can and do help, but only if you start early enough in the decent to avoid this "pressure lock" effect. In the event that you didn't start early enough then it's just feasible that this device might offer a little relief if you manage to achieve an effective hermetic seal (not easy) and maintain it all the way down. But if has been at all effective you're then going to have a pressure lock with the plug in your ear canal, and you're STILL going to have to deal with the negative pressure in your middle ear which hasn't been effected in the slightest.
Sigh, relief. That feels better, thank you for listening ;-)
For me, it helps to shut my mouth, pinch my nose and breath out, creating pressure on the inside. After a peeping noise, an ear will open up (the best feeling) and after more pressurising and nose pinching, the other will open up as well, eventually (positively orgasmic.)
I always hope that I don't rupture the open ear when I'm "inflating"the second one.
Once this device has punctured your ear drum, then your middle ear will equalize in pressure. No more pain, no more hearing screaming kids on the plane as a plus.
Actually, a much more affordable (and a million times more packable) option, although each pair is only good for one round trip, is Earplanes:
http://www.cirrushealthcare.com/EarPlanes-C8.aspx
I have sinus problems compounded by actual skull/sinus deformities and had tried everything to avoid in-flight pain, including zonking myself out on the strongest decongestants that I could get. Now I just use these and they really, really REALLY work incredibly well.
Best of all they make a version for kiddies also so they have one less reason to scream on a plane.
You can get these at most well-stocked drug stores in what I call the "miscellaneous orifice aisle" (ie by the earplugs, earwash, eye drops, non-medicated nasal sprays, etc).
Jenonymous (#8), thanks for the tip. I may buy the kids size, not for me or my spawn (I have none) but for when I'm on a flight with a small kid that can't pop their ears (it seems to be particularly difficult for 3-6 year old kids. I've been on 4 hour flights where the kid screams the entire trip.)
I have an annoying condition called a Patulous Eustachian tube (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patulous_Eustachian_tube) where the eustacian tube stays open and I can hear my own breathing and speaking resonating in the inner ear.
I wonder if this would help.
This is quality blogging right here. This is why I read you guys.
I am one of those unfortunate SOBs that has very limited dilation of the Eustachian tubes.
I didn't discover this until I was in an airplane landing in Portland OR and the searing pain in my head nearly caused me to black out.
I have a friend who is a former scuba instructor who has since taught me some tricks to help equalize. Sometimes they work and sometimes I suffer but temporarily gain superhuman strength from the pain. (I bent the arm of my seat on one particularly bad landing into Salt Lake City)
A question for those who suffer from descent-induced pain during airline flights: Does the valsalva maneuver work at all for you? I was told that, if properly executed, it would help 99.9% of cases.
I had to look up "valsalva maneuver", but from the flight I took last week, I can speak from experience that the "valsalva maneuver" did not in fact help my inner ear problem.
On a recent flight, during descent, my ears and those of a friend were in intense pain, something which had never happened before. My usual methods of clearing my ears(I can do the "yawn" thing without yawning, and tried the closed nose blow thing too) didn't work, and so 30 minutes of agony continued, during which I could only put my hands over my ears to pretend that I was somehow ameliorating the pain, and watching my friend go through the same motions. Upon landing, I was finally able to clear my ears by using the closed nose blow thing, upon which I was amazed by how much THIS HURT, and I could hear liquid sounds in my ear. After going to an ENT clinic, I found that there was now a bit of blood in my ear canal, and it was probably due to having a bit of a cold before flight, and that prevented me from being able to clear my ears properly, and caused ear pressure hell and said blood.
In short, I can see a legitimate need for this product.
BTW: Thanks for the tip Jenonymous (#8).
#5 audiotherapist has it reversed, or I missed the sarcasm.
Airplanes leak air, and to keep passengers from passing out from a lack of oxygen at 35,000 feet, the fuselage is actually pumped up with air, like a balloon, to an equivalent altitude of about 8,000 feet. It's the climb to 8,000 feet that makes yours ears need to vent out through your Eustachian tubes. If you've ever seen a sealed bag of potato chips at altitude, that's what's happening to your inner ear.
On the way back down, the plane is allowed to slowly equalize with ambient pressure. That descent down from the equivalent 8,000 feet caused your ears to want to pop again. If you've seen an empty water bottle collapse on the way back down, that's what's happening to your inner ear.
I use the Valsalva method.
Good catch #16; in this case, on going up, the beer can would explode, as you have low pressure outside and high pressure inside.
As an observational note, this also means you shouldn't do the closed nose blow thing during ascent, as it would just make things worse it seems.
Dammit dammit dammit! You're quite right in some respects #16 but not entirely. The pressure does drop initially on take off but is there after balanced at around 10psi during flight by pressurized air being pumped in and an outlet valve adjusted to correct for out flow. Aircraft don't accidentally leak air, they are tested very carefully to make sure this doesn't happen.
I was spot on about the descent though :-)
And just to re-iterate, it is the MIDDLE ear, not the inner ear. Your inner ear is the Cochlear, embedded in the temporal bone (hardest bone in the body). If the pressure radically changes in the inner ear you experience extreme nauseating vertigo, Tinnitus and there will usually be some residual, if sometimes sub-clinical hearing loss.
So there :-)
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or available at any local pharmacy... prices very, I've even seen these for free! really? as if this is something new??????? LOL
Also helps to have a good set of ear plugs. This type works best for me: http://www.lindensafety.com/details_new.cfm?id=264
I've had 6 sinus surgeries and have had to deal with this most of my life. Just pump them in and out a few times to create the same effect as the squeeze bulb. And best of all, they fit easily in your carry on so they are always handy.
Works well for long flights and screaming babies too :)
In the UK you can get things called Ear Planes, which work amazingly well.
Jack