The New York Times illustrates the car of the future

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Nuzzled in the sidebar of an otherwise typical New York Times piece on the rapidly evolving comfort tech of your average consumer vehicle’s options, this brilliant illustration by Bruce McCall of the world’s most advanced and dangerous car.

Father drives while simultaneously watching Casablanca and getting a haircut, while Junior bakes a pizza, whips a toy airplane around his head as hard as he can and considers getting a few slam dunks in. Meanwhile, Mother uses a remote control to change channels on a television she could easily reach to adjust herself, but her laziness is redeemed by the fact that she is apparently a Popeye fan.

Even the pets are kept occupied: Fido is entranced by the admittedly captivating plots of the Bone channel, while Whiskers lazily watches a motorized mouse move back and forth… which will eventually, in the manner of felines, prompt him to wig the shit out, lodge himself in hissing terror underneath Father’s accelerator and cause the very same horrific car crash that Junior is cheering on through the occulus his backseat Chronoscope.

Fully Loaded [NY Times via book of joe]

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12 Responses to The New York Times illustrates the car of the future

  1. Pruette says:

    And still someone has to drive the damn thing?! sheesh, some future.

  2. A New Challenger says:

    No mention about Sis and her keyboard stylings? You really bought into the 1950s illustration style.

  3. AnnaBananaa says:

    I love that the passenger in the front seat is watching the news and Popeye!

  4. SamF says:

    I love the fact that they’re driving at 88mph.

    Oh, and there are apparently no seatbelts in the future.

    Also: Where are the pop-up gun turrets and side-mounted missile launchers?

    One more: Is that kid wearing a pager? I thought this was the future, not the past! Well, maybe they’re retro in the future.

  5. Stefan Jones says:

    Bruce McCall did dozens of car and invention-related articles for the National Lampoon.

    Nice to see he’s still slamming them out.

  6. bat21 says:

    Reminds me of this.

  7. shutz says:

    There’s something about the art style in that pic that makes me want to fold it in to see what the gag is.

  8. Sparky005 says:

    This could not possibly illustrate the future. The occupants are not fat enough.

  9. John Brownlee says:

    Shutz, god, I know. I almost made that same comment when I was writing it, but forgot by the time I’d gotten to the end of it.

  10. shutz says:

    88 mph? Anybody see a flux capacitor somewhere?

  11. MrfixitRick says:

    To me, the gag part is that in the fifties, the car of the future would’ve been a saucer.
    Now, we have a kid in the backseat playing with an old airplane.
    That’s a natural parody for Mad Magazine to run.

    I’m going to print the picture and fold it.
    (runs off to print picture…)
    Yup, fold it up and sure enough the dog is flying the saucer, with only the girl as passenger.

  12. dculberson says:

    They do seem to have a forward-facing dash mounted pain ray. Useful for when some moron cuts you off.

    Where’s the driver’s glass of wine??

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