There’s something about this Sonic Lounger that invites perverted suspicion. The leg stirrups, the strange vibrating speaker positioned directly over the uterus, the arm clamps… it has every look of a Victorian era medical device for the treatment of “hysteria” in women, its operation overseen by a bejowled, constantly sweating physician who can never stop licking his chapped, mottled lips.
However, according to its manufacturers, the Sonic Lounger is simply for “relaxation.” For the price of $9000, “it massages and resonates the entire body with crystal clear vibration, transferring high fidelity music into the skin, bones and tissue, allowing the subtleties and depth of sound that cannot be heard with the ears to be viscerally experienced.”
So, in short, it is the 21st century’s answer to the medical masturbation devices of the 19th century. Neat! I don’t know what’s cooler: that they’re still making these, or that they are still euphemistically marketing them.