The Sonic Lounger treats “stress” the same way 19th Century quacks treated “hysteria” (i.e. vibration)

soniclounger.jpg

There’s something about this Sonic Lounger that invites perverted suspicion. The leg stirrups, the strange vibrating speaker positioned directly over the uterus, the arm clamps… it has every look of a Victorian era medical device for the treatment of “hysteria” in women, its operation overseen by a bejowled, constantly sweating physician who can never stop licking his chapped, mottled lips.

However, according to its manufacturers, the Sonic Lounger is simply for “relaxation.” For the price of $9000, “it massages and resonates the entire body with crystal clear vibration, transferring high fidelity music into the skin, bones and tissue, allowing the subtleties and depth of sound that cannot be heard with the ears to be viscerally experienced.”

So, in short, it is the 21st century’s answer to the medical masturbation devices of the 19th century. Neat! I don’t know what’s cooler: that they’re still making these, or that they are still euphemistically marketing them.

Sonic Lounger [Taiz Designer via DVICE]

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6 Responses to The Sonic Lounger treats “stress” the same way 19th Century quacks treated “hysteria” (i.e. vibration)

  1. dculberson says:

    Wow, serious overtones of “Demon Seed.” Just needs some malicious AI.

    I suppose pants would have gotten in the way of her relaxation.

  2. mmbb says:

    restraints are necessary during process of exposing subjects/victims to rick astley song on infinite loop.

  3. Anonymous says:

    1. Those appear to be arm RESTS not arm CLAMPS.

    2. Those aren’t stirrups like a medical table. Those appear to be flat foot shaped panels that your feet sit on. There seems to be padded pillows that go over your ankles.

    This is closer in design to an adjustable bed than an examination table.

  4. diskgrinder says:

    is that a realDoll®?

  5. Digital Artz says:

    Nine thousand bucks gets me some
    real u know what at least a couple
    of hours worth!!!!

  6. A New Challenger says:

    Audiophilia has gone to a whole other level with this one.

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