Quintuple bladed herb scissors

These sharp, quintuple bladed herb scissors make for fine, easy dicing, and would also make a superlative prop for a horror movie about an insane mohel who wants to forcibly convert the goyim and, what the heck, maybe he's also a spooky ghost. M. Night Shyamalan can direct, and at the end, the twist can be it was Zion all along, ooga booga! Only $9.99, which is competitive even against uni-bladed scissors.

RSVP Herb Scissors [Amazon via Gadget Grid]

[#1 posted by Anonymous , November 12, 2008 1:45 AM]

Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 5-bladed herb scissors?
Ted: Yeah, sure, 5-bladed herb scissors. Yeah, the kitchen accessory.
Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 6...bladed...herb...scissors.
Ted: Right. Yes. OK, all right. I see where you're going.
Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a kitchen store, you see 5-bladed herb scissors sittin' there, there's 6-bladed herb scissors right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?
Ted: I would go for the 6.
Hitchhiker: Bingo, man, bingo. 6-bladed herb scissors.
Ted: That's - that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 7-bladed herb scissors. Then you're in trouble, huh?
[Hitchhiker convulses]
Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 7! I said 6. Nobody's comin' up with 7. Who cuts with 7 blades?

[#2 posted by Garr , November 12, 2008 3:08 AM]

Wow, the thoughts that cross your mind after midnight... astonishing and probably a cause for worry.

[#3 posted by PaulR , November 12, 2008 4:13 AM]

Who uses scissors to chop herbs when a good vegetable knife can do the same job in about a quarter of the time? Learn to cook!

(Aren't these the 'Personal paper shredder' scissors from a while back?)

[#4 posted by CJ , November 12, 2008 5:29 AM]

@PaulR - but with these, there's less chance of me cutting off a finger while chopping :)

They look great, wish they were available in SA at a less than astronomical price.

[#5 posted by Daniel Rutter , November 12, 2008 6:05 AM]

The exact same product is also sold as "shredder scissors"; they're great if you only need to shred something once in a blue moon, and you can even use them to only shred PART of a page. Thus, I don't know, maybe redacting your porno purchases from the bank statement you're going to use to prove your address.

[#6 posted by SamSam , November 12, 2008 6:37 AM]

Yes, I bought these just a couple weeks ago branded as "paper shredders."

Turns out it's ok if you just want to cut away the part of the page with your bank account number, but there's no way you can cut a whole page, as they jam with paper pretty quickly.

As a cook, I occasionally use scissors to cut up a small amount of parsley or chives or what-nor right over the pot or serving bowl, but these fail for two reasons: 1) The blades are too far apart - if I'm cutting, it's because I want to herbs fine. If I want them half an inch apart, I'll just tear them with my hands. 2) The width of these means that I'd have to hold the bunch or parsley too far back and won't be able to keep it in a tight controlled bunch.

Also, if you use it as they show in the picture -- over a chopping board replacing a regular knife -- you need to just get a real knife and learn how to use it. There is no way in hell holding your herbs and chopping them with scissors could be easier or faster than a knife.

[#7 posted by awesomesnakes , November 12, 2008 6:57 AM]

@Daniel Rutter @SAMSAM
Compact Impact (the one with the fancy japanese humidifiers) has been selling the five blade paper shredding scissors for several years now.

[#8 posted by vaxen , November 12, 2008 7:01 AM]

This is a fine example of the crap i get from my inlaws every festivus. Me and the wife take bets throughout the year at which infomercial crap we well get from them. One year it was the Magic Bullet blender thingy, another it was some round grill thingy you put over one of the electric elements on the stove.

And the number 1 reason i hate kitchen gadgets, cleaning them. Do they come apart like normal kitchen shears? If i have to spend more time cleaning a gadget than I actually use it, it is not a time saver.

[#9 posted by DeWynken , November 12, 2008 8:29 AM]

looks perfect for the herbal fall harvest processing, if you get mah drift, mon.

[#10 posted by preluded , November 12, 2008 9:12 AM]

I have a pair of these I got at Tokyo Hands, and as others have mentioned, they were marketed as a shredding tool for your tiny receipts.

[#11 posted by Teresa Nielsen Hayden / Moderator , November 12, 2008 10:00 AM]

I normally cut up herbs with scissors, so I like this idea; but as SamSam says, the blades need to be closer together. If they were set at quarter-inch intervals, they'd also be great for cutting candied citrus peel into julienne shreds. (That may not matter to the rest of you, but I make lots of candied peel.)

SamSam, I do have real knives, and I do know how to use them, but I also have variable hand strength and fine muscle control, so there are tasks where scissors work better for me.

[#12 posted by Downpressor , November 12, 2008 4:54 PM]

@preluded: I love how Tokyu Hands is so full of crap that looks useful but in the end the only use was to lighten your wallet.

@Brownlee: I lol'd at the Mohel idea. I'm gonna forward this to a friend of mine who's about to get an adult brit millah (removal of the dick hat (you tip your hat to this lady, son)) and is very nervous about it

[#13 posted by SlyBevel , November 14, 2008 12:18 PM]

Dude. "Unibladed" scissors are called knives. The standard variety has two blades.

[#14 posted by PaulR , November 16, 2008 9:44 AM]

@ CJ: it's a matter of technique:

I use a (30 year old!) 10in Lion Sabatier chef's knife (I wouldn't bother with the anything much shorter, you need that length to be able to rock it properly and a wide blade so you can guide it)(a wide blade also makes it easier to scoop up food to throw it in the pot or skillet).

There's an illustration of how to chop/dice/mince with a chef's knife (with the exact same knife I use) here:
http://www.knivesandtools.com/en/pt/-chef-s-knife-10.htm

The text explanation could be a little better:
Say you're dicing green onions:
Hold the stalks on your cutting board with the non-knife hand using three fingers and your thumb. Curl your index finger guiding the blade so that the second knuckle is rubbing on the flat of the blade, resting your fingertip on the food, keeping it away from the cutting edge.

Your veg-holding hand ends up in the "come here" gesticulation position, but with the palm down.

Rock the blade on its curved edge, like the 'dicing' gif:
Keeping the tip on the board, bring the blade down with the index finger quiding it. Bring the blade up (just enough to clear the stalks) with the tip still on the board, rotate it about the tip a few degrees towards the uncut stalks. Keep the blade vertical, then chop down. Repeat. After a four or six chops, reposition the tip (and your holding hand!) towards the uncut food.

If you're mincing, say, garlic. First dice it. Then put the palm of your 'holding' hand on the back of the blade, and rock it, as per the 'mincing' gif, across the pile of diced garlic. First north/south then east/west.

Practice slowly at first. Very soon your friends (and you!) will be amazed as to how quickly and effortlessly you dice and mince. It's much quicker than using multiblade scissors, IMHO. And a LOT less cleaning required.

In thirty years, I've only cut myself maybe half a dozen times on my knives - usually because I wasn't paying attention, or the blade was too dull.

Get a good knife with a good handle-to-blade balance and heft. Keep it as sharp as possible - dull knives cause accidents.

Invest in a STEEL honing steel like here:
http://www.knivesandtools.com/en/pt/-sabatier-sharpening-steel.htm

DON'T do like in the the movies, clanging the blade against the steel. It's dramatic but it ruins the knife.

When you need to hone the knife, hold the steel vertical, tip down on the counter, handle up.

While looking down on the steel from above the handle, draw the blade down and across the steel, and 'shave' the steel - keeping the blade at a 15-20 degree angle to the steel as you pull it across. Two or three strokes on each side are enough.

Note, I pretty much never chop anything by lifting the whole knife off of then hitting the board - too noisy and inefficent. It's probably why I've never had to reshape/resharpen my knives' edges.