A finger massaging robot for those hard blogging days

Christ, what a day. Control C, Control V, Control C, Control V. Pithy snark, pithy snark. Mr. Johnson.... what a slaver. I just want to shoot him in the face with a bazooka. But Christ... the way my fingers ache. I don't even think I could manage to pull the trigger.

Oh, my aching fingers. Where is that christing parakeet? We had a deal: I keep him stocked in millet and set him up in a nice cage, and he massages my tired fingers with his tiny little talons first thing when I come home from work for the day. Is this what I got myself into? That little hussy. If he doesn't start putting out with the finger massaging, there's plenty of younger hens down at the pet store with plump, glistening cloacas who will.

Wait. Didn't I see something like this the other day? Some sort of finger massaging robot? Oh man, that would hit the spot. How much was it again? ... $1950.00? Jesus, my fingers would have to be breaking off to justify that, even against my millionaire blogger salary. What do these guys take me for? An idiot? My nostrils do the same damn job for free.

Danball Shiatsu Finger Massager [Japan Trendshop via Red Ferret]