Free GPS tracking unit to protect Nativity scenes during the holidays
The miraculously named marketing director of Lightning GPS, Jason Lazarus, let us know about a new program the company is rolling out this holiday season to protect outdoor nativity scenes. They'll be leasing GPS tracking devices to non-profit organizations — think churches — that can be placed inside those plastic baby Jesuses and used to track them down if miscreants make off with them and drop them at high speed out of the back of a pick-up truck, the figures' sand-heavy bottoms causing them to spring instantly upright and careen down the highway while rotating slowly to expose the beatific but somehow judgmental face of Mary as she chases your truck at high speed for a hundred feet before tipping off wildly into a ditch. Or so I've heard.
Free GPS Rental For Non-Profits [LightningGPS.com]
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Sounds like you've got plans.
This opens up a fun new holiday game: what fucked up places can you send church-folk running to in order retrieve their plastic messiah?
Goth BDSM clubs.
Fat-bottomed mothers of God
make the rockin' world go 'round
1) Read title, "Free GPS tracking unit to protect Nativity scenes during the holidays"
2) View the graphic accompanying article
3) Wonder just how many Nativity scenes feature Menorahs
@5 Jews for Jesus!
No joke, these guys own an A&W root beer franchise in Frisco, Colorado. They have tons of propaganda and phrases from whatever book they believe in plastered about the place, and the highway sign, instead of advertising cheap burgers, features passages from scripture.
Sounds like it's time for some Jesuscache action.
But it doesn't stop you from drawing a mustache on the baby jesus.
Menorahs because those get stolen, too. Jerks are everywhere.
Someone needs to make a Flying Spaghetti Monster holiday display.
and somebody needs to follow up on that and make that disapear too! but then that what the gps device is for! although i wonder how hard it is to conceel a gps device inside a spagehetti monster? spagehtii monster geocache mischief anyone?
Our congregation (Unitarians) had our Holiday display vandalized year after year. Parts of the display were stolen, others just damaged.
Not believing is your right, one many people of faith ardently defend. But if you think destroying someone's property does anything but make you look like a thug, you're wrong.
Step 1: Find one of these GPS devices inside a nativity figure (or menorah).
Step 2: Find your thermos. Not your plastic one, get your good metal one.
Step 3: Pilfer GPS device and immediately insert into thermos. Leave the item that contained the GPS unharmed.
Step 4: Casually make your getaway.
Step 5: Take the thermos to Kinkos.
Step 6: Find the address of a different church about 50 miles away.
Step 7: FedEx your thermos to that church.
Step 8: Realize that you should've wiped your fingerprints off the thermos and GPS device in case someone gets their panties in a bunch and calls it a hate crime when really it was just a fun crime.
A "fun crime?" The Nativity article seems funny, yet how pathetic that this kind of theft and vandalism is a serious problem! I enjoy good humor, but bigotry just doesn't meet my definition.
Can I ask, in the spirit of true curiosity, what is it about nativity scenes, menorahs or any religious display that is so, well, is "offensive" the right word? I'm talking about the ones on private property mind you.
I don't walk past a book display for "The God Delusion" and think of how funny it would be to draw a mustache on Richard Dawkins.
mgfarrelly, there are small minded people in all walks of life. There's nothing particularly offensive about a religious display on private property to a normal person. Even an normal person that happens to be an atheist.
I always wanted to know where Baby Jesus was on Christmas... now I'll finally know.
@ Ralphey
Wait a minute - sliding a tracking unit out of something and mailing it somewhere else for laughs is bigotry?
Did you miss the bit where I wrote "Leave the item that contained the GPS unharmed."
Would it be bigotry if the item containing the tracking device was a lawn gnome?
Besides, do you know how many nativities and menorahs someone would have to sort through before they found one that actually had a GPS tracker? If I had the energy I did when I was 18 and started right now, continuing non-stop until Christmas I doubt I'd find one, but I'd probably collect more than one soup can to the dome from treading on all the lawns.
@ MGFarrelly
While not quite your die-hard atheist, I tend to lean in that direction. And yet, if I walked past a display of The God Delusion and a book had a poorly drawn mustache, I'd laugh.
I think that people aren't as offended by religious displays as you think they are. I think that lots of people could care less - however, hormone and peer pressure addled teenagers have always been in supply. Mix them with a little rebellion and maybe some alcohol, and you've got Jesus stealing, cow tipping, outhouse relocating shenanigans. It's always been this way and it always will be.
@ geekpdx
if i walked by a nativity scene with all three wise men sporting poorly drawn mustaches & a copy of richard dawkins book also with a poorly drawn pornstache i think i would just die laughing! but no i dont think waht you describe is a hate crime, its just that a fun crime! XD could you imagine getting caught doing that getting thrown in jail and having to tell the dood with the tats what your in jail for? that would be hilarious! i would die laughing either way! as a spectator... and hypotheticaly speaking of course! not that either you or me or anyone else reading this wonderfull blog would get any bright ideas and actually go out and do it... nor would we incourage anyone to do it *snicker* *giggle* *choke* *LOL!!!* its ment for our own amusement... :D