Andy Rooney Windows Smackdown

Andy Rooney, in a timeless piece, issues a splendid and cumudgeonly denunciation of Windows–and the upgrade culture of computers in general

I’ve written on a computer for several years now. It’s a great tool … but maddening.

Mr. Rooney, check out the Alphasmart already!

Andy Rooney Wants The Typewriter Back [Ectomo]

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13 Responses to Andy Rooney Windows Smackdown

  1. deejayqueue says:

    aww.

  2. JoeKickass says:

    Yes you grumpy old bastard, the typewriter is a lovely tool for doing exactly one thing; putting your thoughts on paper. If that’s all you want to do then so be it, use a 60 year old typewriter and be happy.
    But say for example you wanted to:
    -correct something you already typed
    -send a copy to a friend, instantly
    -refer back to something you typed long ago, instantly

    The point is, yes PCs have some frustrating aspects to them but they’re infinitely more functional than your old typewriter. Comparing the two is like comparing a knife (that cuts leather) to a factory which manufactures leather goods. Would you bitch and moan about the operation of a factory over the simplicity of the knife? Yeah I guess you probably would.

    Furthermore the typewriter went thru thousands of iterative improvements before you got your trusty old Underwood.

  3. Joe The Wizard says:

    Yeah! I hate Bill Gates too! Everything is his fault! Piracy? Go to jail, Bill Gates! Bad programming? Go to hell, Bill Gates! System UI quirks? Suck it, Bill Gates! Windows chokes on donkey balls? Die, Bill Gates!

    Maybe someone needs to get Andy Rooney a Mac? Then he can curse Steve Jobs and give poor Bill Gates a break.

    I wish he was my grandpa so we could sit on the back porch drinking beers and cursing out all sorts of people who annoy us. Andy Rooney, I love you.

  4. Garr says:

    Sorry, but this guy is one big joke, and frankly, he talks a load of gobswobble (I just thought that up, and I double checked it in google to see if it didn’t accidentally mean anything else… Now take a look at this!).

    I certainly won’t go into detail here about how wrong he is in basically each and every point he makes – his stupidity simply doesn’t merit it and anyone with a minimum of computer knowledge, not to mention common sense, will know what I’m talking about anyway.

    I think what frustrates me the most about this post, though, is the smug tone underlying Rob’s description…

  5. buddy66 says:

    Rooney’s right about write. Writers don’t need much computer. The simpler the better. I have two of them. One with a nice clacky keyboard for writing and draft printing, and one for cyberspace. You don’t need a Rolls to go to the corner to pick up a six-pack.

  6. zuzu says:

    I do blame Bill Gates for fucking up one critical juncture in the personal computing revolution: marketing software as if it were a widget in a box (i.e. selling software licenses), rather than treating software as speech (which later required the GNU Public License (GPL) to realize).

    Big business liked the idea of selling software as if it were widgets in a box because it was part of the factory model of economics they were accustomed to — including software development as an economy of scale.

    Of course, the Internet generally and Google specifically started eroding at this when passing the knee in the curve towards an asymptote of — much to Andy Rooney’s chagrin — infinite updates in software. (Gmail still isn’t out of beta, right?)

  7. Trent Hawkins says:

    Why am I suddenly reminded of “the Eyes Have it”?

    When I say “I’m rolling my eyes”, I don’t mean I’m literally rolling around my disembodied eye balls, and when windows says “you preformed an illegal command” it does not mean you should go to jail.

    In short, I have no stomach for this.

  8. buddy66 says:

    “I certainly won’t go into detail here about how wrong he is in basically each and every point he makes…”

    Please do. Surely you can spare two or three examples, especially after you called him “a big joke” and guilty of “stupidity.”

  9. gerrygoround says:

    Get a mac!!!

  10. rtb says:

    Bill Gates is obviously not responsible for the design choices of PC manufacturers as to where they put the off switches. Nor is he personally responsible for every bit of stupidity in the user interfaces of Microsoft software, or all the bugs.

    But as the man in charge, he IS responsible for setting up Microsoft so that it produces such crappy, bug-ridden, hard-to-use software. He set the priority on making new stuff constantly instead of debugging the stuff already purchased.

    Here, read these:

    Critique of Vista Shutdown

    How Vista Shutdown Menu Got So Bad

    Bill Gates was the guy in charge. For his company to work so badly and end up producing something so messed up for such a long time, that IS his fault, even if the individual bugs and botches were produced by so many others.

    For him to put “making a lot of money” ahead of “making the best product possible” IS his fault.

  11. Grey Eyed Man of Destiny says:

    Cool off, you sorry lot of fanboys, it’s just old Andy.

    When your grandfather gets frustrated with the new fangled washing machine, do you respond with such fury?

    Whether you agree with him or not, Andy speaks volumes (albeit hilariously) for a quickly disappearing generation

  12. Larry Fischer says:

    Jeez. You people have no sense of humor. It was a satirical piece.

  13. Anonymous says:

    @12
    I sometimes wonder if Andy is really all the satirical, or simply being an old man.

    Some of his rants I laugh at, some seem more serious.

    For example, I viewed one where he went on about the economy. How it was in great shape, and all he had to do was “cut back” a bit on spending. Instead of filling up with premium, he put in 8 gal of regular, and 8 gal of premium. At a $1.67/gal. Said his car “didn’t know the difference”. Then he said he spent $80.00 on tickets to a baseball game… and went to every game. So I have to wonder… is this guy serious? If it’s satirical, this piece seemed very nonchalant, and even insulting.

    Well, Andy, OF COURSE you think the economy is fine. You a) have a job, b) get paid well, and c) didn’t comment when gas was $5.00/gal.

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