So you want a rotary telephone.
You don’t want a cheap plastic copy. You don’t want it to be $300. You don’t want it to be a sickly green, to have a nicotine patina, or be otherwise ghastly. You want the real thing. In enamel black.
But you do want it to Just Work with modern exchanges. And you want it to ring a real damned bell.
Well, for seventy bucks, here you go: Retro 1970s Style Desktop Telephone – Upgrade Ver [Brando] Thanks, Mark!
P.S. How hard would it be to wire it up to a cellphone concealed within, with a gigantic battery that lasts for months?