Blast Knuckles: when turning someone’s jaw into goo isn’t enough

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There comes a point in every conversation where someone’s teeth must be sent to chatter down the throat to chatter about the sphincter. Some arguments can only be solved by a sneezing of brains. These Blast Knuckles are just electrifyingly unsporting for just those situations, delivering a blast of 950,000 bolts as the electrodes collide with a shattering jaw.

But really, why stop there? Why not tip your knuckle dusters with dollops of nitroglycerine as well. Granted, you lose the arm, but you win the fight: a sizzling stump may seem like a bad wound, but at least you can seriously use the expression, “You oughta see the other guy.”

$50.

Blast Knuckles [Pop Gadget via Slippery Brick]

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19 Responses to Blast Knuckles: when turning someone’s jaw into goo isn’t enough

  1. airship says:

    #14, I think Batman prefers the Wasp Shark Injector Knife:

    gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/06/16/wasp-injector-knife.html

  2. Anonymous says:

    Where did you see that these are illegal in Florida? All of the sites that I see that sell and ship them to FL say that they are legal. Also, stun guns seem to be legal to carry in FL as well.

  3. Trent Hawkins says:

    Didn’t Batman have a pair of those?

  4. Drew Blood says:

    Illegal in New Jersey, Delaware, Washington, Utah, Illinois, Florida, and all of Canada. Sweet!

    It’s evil but I really want to see someone get clocked with one of these.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Nitro-knuckles also provide the perfect opportunity to use this line:

    Someone: OMG you just blew your arm off!
    You: It’s only a flesh wound

  6. holtt says:

    Hmm could this be combined with the one shot pistol for the elderly and infirm? “The Gun That Packs A PUNCH!”

  7. cha0tic says:

    Judge Dredd have Electro Knucks?

  8. Anonymous says:

    Being hit with knuckledusters doesn’t gain anything from being electrified – if you are still conscious after you are hit, then the only thing you will be doing is lying on the floor, trying to hold your pulverised jawbone together.

    Something this stupid could only have been made and sold in America. Why bother with this when you can get guns?

    If you were in America, and some spastic tried to hit you with this, then the first thing you are going to do in reply is put a .45 slug into his head.

  9. dculberson says:

    950,000 bolts really oughta screw someone up.

  10. OM says:

    …Does this remind anyone of a Space: 1999 laser gun, albeit a bit reimaged?

  11. Ceronomus says:

    Wow. For a weapon to be illegal in Florida? That’s got to be one BRUTAL punch.

  12. airship says:

    I don’t care if it makes sense or not. The prepubescent boy who still lives somewhere deep inside me says: WANT!

  13. markfrei says:

    #3 dculberson
    Not really. If you could hold it there for a while, yes, but stun guns really are better as adult novelties than as self defense.

    The reason why tasers are better is that with a stun gun, the target generally pulls away enough to end the charge. Annoying but not much more. A taser has barbs that attach themselves so you can actually get a sustained zap in.

    But I still want one, if only for fun…

  14. SamSam says:

    I would hate to be hit with 950,000 bolts — a quick calculation finds that that would be about 60,000 lbs of steel crashing into my noggin, about as heavy as a 30-ton railway car!

  15. markfrei says:

    #10 dculberson
    Ok, I’ll groan now that I have had my caffeine…

  16. zuzu says:

    Wow. For a weapon to be illegal in Florida? That’s got to be one BRUTAL punch.

    Nah, Florida tends to be authoritarian regulation-happy. They’re also the only state besides New York with an outright ban on radio scanners. Florida also disenfranchises former felons from voting, for life.

  17. dculberson says:

    Markfrei, it was a terrible pun, sorry, I must have been nuts.

  18. RWY says:

    Woken furies – Richard K. Morgan
    “One body already lay inert on the fused-glass paving, and someone else was dragging their body, a limb’s length at a time, out of the fray, bleeding. Blue sparks shorted off a set of overcharged power knuckles; elsewhere light glimmered on a blade. But everyone still standing seemed to be having a good time, and there were no police as yet.”

  19. Takuan says:

    just another torture device.

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