CES: Dell announces Mini Inspiron 10, Adamo luxury laptop brand
Clamping my ears to prevent my melted brain from oozing out of my cochleas, I stumbled up to the Dell Suite in the Palms Pleasure Tower this morning to allow Dell's constabulary of attractive public relations girls the honor of ministering to my hangover with smoothies and omelettes.
It was not to be. As I poured my gelatinated central nervous system out of the elevator, I really did expect those dollsome PR sirens to whisk me away to a chaise longue, where they would press my noble brow with a moist cloth and provide me with Bloody Marys and sympathetic, dove-like cooing.
Instead, though, those assholes decided to throw a press conference, and sidelined me into a press room... a press room where there was not a single omelette or smoothie to be had. Unbelievable.
Over the course of the next forty five minutes, Dell pulled the curtain on an array of new products. They debuted a 13-inch Adamo with much vagueness and mystery, refusing to be pinned down to anything besides its screen size and the fact that it is a "luxury product" with top-of-the-line hardware specs. This vagueness seemed to confuse the other tech writers in attendance, but even through the random jactitation of my limbs and reality's insistent loop-de-loops and vomit-inducing pirouettes, it seemed pretty clear that the Adamo wasn't intended to be a single laptop, but Dell's new luxury brand.
It's a curious announcement either way. A luxury laptop? Sure. But a luxury brand... even forgetting the recession, is "luxury" really a market that can be pandered to with Dell's typical broad product line swathes?
Also debuted during my delirium tremens: the Mini Inspiron 10. It is what it is: a 10-inch expansion to Dell's netbook line, with built-in GPS and a digital television tuner. Yesterday, they also announced an aftermarket add-on tuner for their existing Mini Inspirons. I think Dell's got whiff of the right scent: they are probably right to guess that netbooks have appeal as portable televisions to the broader public at large.
But, you know, whatever. I'm just so mad at Dell right now. I really don't know what those guys are thinking. It is true: omelettes don't come free. And I understand that Dell and I have a symbiotic relationship. I need to give in return.
But a press conference at the positively inhuman hour 8:30am after a night out at Casino Royale? Bad cricket. Minister to my hangover, Dell. Stroke my hair. Let me lay my head in your lap for a spell. Then, after all of that, pluck the Dadaist splendor of my hangover from my brow and slap it as a sticker on the back of one of your custom-art Studio laptops. I am an artist.That is how I can give. And it would beat some of the Bill Cosby sweater designs you're already rolling with.
Consider my protest lodged.
Image of Dell's Adamo brazenly stolen from Gizmodo. I have cropped out their watermark with confidence. You know, plied with enough booze, Brian Lam is surprisingly open about the profane fetishes of Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, and the manner in which Gizmodo has capitalized upon them. It would be a shame if any of those secretly recorded remarks "got out."
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Fantastic disclaimer. Much better than the product launch, and this is coming from somebody that's actually _interested_ in the damn laptop.
PS: Adding your own watermark would have really sold it.
...Holy frack! Is that Grace Jones holding that demo unit?
@3: was that supposed to be ironic racism?
John, you should write with a crashing hangover more often. Thanks for making a dry as toast Dell rollout a thing of joy to read.
I can think of a whole nation (Ireland) who will soon be without omelettes as well thanks to Dell...
Sworm: no, "iconic face-ism" i think.
nobody cares about how hungover you are. I'm all for a personality in postings, but you made the mistake of thinking we'd be more interested in how rather than what you had to say.
In your bleary-eyed state, you neglected to document whether the Dell Mini 10 has fixed the horrible keyboard layout the 9 suffers from!