CES: Disney Zombies

CES is no stranger to zombies. Plodding, doddering half dead things, each drop of juice forcibly drained from their desiccated husks into the 1.8 million square foot vortex of tech consumerism's great embalming necropolis. It's the nature of the show: too big and sprawling and full of screaming lights and tightly packed flesh. It kills almost everyone inside just a little... but some more than others.

Still, as I wandered the halls of the Las Vegas Convention Center, I began noticing a pattern. While many were partially zombified, there was the occasional shambling mummy, with each step threatening to explode into a cloud of calcified dust and send their shadows skittering away in a swarm of beetles. Their eyes had no luster or joy or capacity for human feeling; their mouths slack holes from which only rattled wheezes emanated.

Each time I saw one, my eyes would instinctively go to their badges. Across the board, the deadest, most emotionless things at CES were representatives of the Walt Disney Co.

Unfortunately, by the time I'd tied together this realization, I'd seen my last walking Disney corpse. Instead, please accept this picture of Tinkerbell, who Disney has really whored up over the last few years, although I can't help but notice that her legs have been rendered with garish ineptitude: a thalidomide pixie extending her posterior for a spanking. In the age of CGI, isn't there anyone left at Disney who remembers how to draw? No wonder Disney's reps at CES are so depressed.

[#1 posted by Rajio , January 12, 2009 8:35 AM]

Does anybody else find that photo uncomfortably sexually suggestive?

[#2 posted by urshrew , January 12, 2009 8:41 AM]

#1 RAJIO

I think 'sexually suggestive' is now Disney's MO. I can't pinpoint exactly when it occurs, but at some point in the last two decades, the whole company seemed to be taken over by a cadre of dirty old men.

[#3 posted by clevetheripper , January 12, 2009 9:39 AM]

@ Rajio: Horribly. The whole word above Tink there is probably MOBILE but I love how they cut the picture off so it reads MOE(japanese slang used mainly in describing cut anime girls)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moe_(slang)

[#4 posted by clevetheripper , January 12, 2009 9:51 AM]

cut anime girls = cute anime girls.

[#5 posted by dan , January 12, 2009 11:22 AM]

The photo looks like a package of toilet paper. Which made me wonder what part of CES Brownlee was finding THAT in...

[#6 posted by FoetusNail , January 17, 2009 5:52 PM]

Anime porn is proof that making all porn illegal is pointless. Though I suppose the only victim is your own sense of self worth.

BTW, never forget Tinkerbell was always concerned with the size of her ass.

http://cowancollectionanimation.blogspot.com/2008/08/peter-pan-1953-tink-directors-drawing.html

[#7 posted by FoetusNail , January 17, 2009 5:57 PM]

P.S. And don't forget Mermaid Lagoon.