Real Touch: Interactive sex device syncs porn with belt-driven USB orifice (Yay!)

I didn't make it to the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo this year, which is a shame: I could have caught the introduction of "Real Touch", a belt-driven machine that, when connected to your computer via USB, simulates the mouth, vagina, or anus of a real human, matching the on-screen action from supplied pornography with sympathetic motion. A heating element brings the entire mechanism close to 98.6, while a reservoir keeps the entire unit moist while in action. Clean-up, the traditional bugbear of sex toys, appears to be relatively easy by rinsing underneath running water and allowing the entire unit to air dry. The Real Touch will retail for $150 and include 30 minutes of Real Touch video content, as well as lube — and free shipping — for $150. Video content will almost certainly cost more, but there are not yet prices available, as the whole system isn't quite ready for order yet. Expect a review from me in the near future. Real Touch product page (NSFW) []
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31 Responses to Real Touch: Interactive sex device syncs porn with belt-driven USB orifice (Yay!)

  1. devophill says:

    @18 Secret_Life_of_Plants-

    DRM are only really stupid and annoying if you actually deal with them. I personally think iTunes’ DRM is dumb and annoying, but I never buy music from iTunes so it doesn’t really affect me. I can imagine being put off by DRM’d sex video content associated with this doohickey, but I’m not buying one either way. If Joel enjoys this thing, the DRM might be a problem worth complaining about, but if he never fucks it, he’ll never know.

    C’mon, SLoP, I’m not telling you something you don’t know…

  2. Anonymous says:

    If this is going to be a BoingBoing TV review… well, we’re going to need some more kittens.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I’ve been looking for a valentines day surprise for my husband and when I found out this about this realtouch virtual sex thingie I thought THATS IT! I found out later at that it is not available for sale yet…you have to subscribe there to be notified when it ready to ship :( Any insider clues? Will I make it to the deadline please!!?

  4. Secret_Life_of_Plants says:

    It is funny how men who spend 99% of their time complaining about the injustices of DRM forget everything when a device comes along that promises to stroke and suck you. I actually *read* the site. The device only works when you purchase minutes in the online VOD “theatre” — if the company goes under, you are left with an inoperable device and no sim-stim media of your own.

    • Joel Johnson says:

      Well *duh* it will have DRM. I’ll worry about that after I determine if it actually is worth being bothered by the DRM.

  5. overunger says:

    Is that the sound of sex bots I hear, strutting in their implanted stilettos ever so closer towards us?

    Like it or not, sooner or later that little device is gonna get legs and visual recog.

    “Hey Joe, whadya know?”

  6. Anonymous says:

    eh I think it should be a dollar a “tug” so to speak. I’m cheap what can I say. If I were to get one of these fancy robo-vag devices, I would say I just paid 150 bucks for this, I better get at least 10 hours of free material, and a card redeemable for some wang cream. My take is that 50% it sucks and is like a weird unpleasant experience and 50% it’s amazing and I want to move to a state where I can enter legal union with it.

  7. sullynick says:

    He said bugbear.

  8. Anonymous says:

    What fascinates me here is the potential for this gadget to shake up sexual ethics and legal standards with just one more step.

    Suppose this manufacturer, or another, designs a complimentary device for a partner to use. We’d finally have the infamous FuFme! Such a system would make possible not only remote consensual sex, but also commercialized virtual sex services via the net.

    That’s what prompts some questions.

    Prostitution is defined as “the act of offering oneself for hire to engage in sexual relations.” If there’s no physical contact between prostitute and client, is that actually sexual relations? If not, can it still be prostitution?

    If we do define it as prostitution, suppose the client is paying for virtual sex with what he thinks is a human partner, but (unbeknownst to him) actually is interacting with a computer program. Is it still prostitution?

    If the client is located in one state and the sex worker in another, which state’s laws govern the transaction? What if they are in different countries?

    Then we get into some REALLY uncomfortable and ugly questions. For example, if a client in the States believes to the best of his knowledge that he is having paid consensual virtual sex with an adult, but the sex worker is actually, say, a 17 1/2 year old in Thailand, is the client guilty of a crime? If not, should he be? Which country’s laws apply?

    This thread could go in some even more disturbing directions, so I’ll stop there. That’s plenty to think about already.

  9. Mycroft says:

    This is what pisses off SkyNet enough to launch the nukes.

  10. Duffong says:

    My Roomba’s gonna to get real lonely with this thing around the house.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Yes, DRM is perfectly fine when it jacks you off. End of story. If you have a problem with this, wait for the sandisk version. LOL@ the captcha, “Kauck mizzen”

  12. Anais80 says:

    Get some while you stand around and play Rock Band all day. A Fleshlight Adapter for f*ck machines lets you get off hands free.

    hook it up to this

  13. binarybabe says:

    OF COURSE you need the movies for it to work…the whole point is that is mimics what’s on screen, it’s not just some simple hand-held jack off toy, it does it for you based on the -coded- movies.

    I wish there was a female version, I mean the Sybians are great but this makes me with I had a dick!

  14. TJ S says:

    I’m scared…and attracted.

  15. Tensegrity says:

    I wonder if skype will support this.

    Or maybe an iphone app, what with the touch screen gestures and all.

    Reach out and touch someone!

  16. Secret_Life_of_Plants says:

    @11 Joel Johnson,
    So DRM-type limitations are okay as long as they only affect books and games and recordings and sex devices we don’t like? I guess I misunderstood the issue. Sorry.

  17. sullynick says:

    I’ve been having a long serious talk with my dick about this. It’s slowly coming ’round to the idea.
    I think the Jenna Haze preview is helping.

  18. Anonymous says:

    Belt-driven orifice? Either the women I’ve dated have been anatomically unusual, or the makers have a really odd idea of what a woman’s body is like inside.

    Plus, the whole thing reminds me of that true story about the guy who had an accident while masturbating with an industrial belt sander, and then in a panic staple-gunned his junk back together.

  19. nehpetsE says:

    I found this marketing slogan on their homepage mildly disrespectful.

    “Tuck one up yor mum, she’ll be as good as new!”

  20. zuzu says:

    Women are lucky, they have the Sybian.
    Male sexual simulators such as this or the “fleshlight” are pathetic at best.

    As with sexual organ enlargement, the biology of women is easy to artificially enhance, while penises remain stubbornly difficult to work with.

    I suppose that’s the poetic trade-off for men not having to menstruate every month. (or every 3 months with Seasonale hormone contraceptive.)

  21. coldspell says:

    you are left with an inoperable device and no sim-stim media of your own.

    I’m sure someone is developing a Linux device driver as we speak.

  22. lomonosov says:

    Looks nice, but this is a deal-breaker for me:

    “RealTouch was designed to work with the films, giving you a one-of-a-kind action experience. It does not work on its own” (from the FAQ).

  23. Downpressor says:

    For those of you who worry about the DRM in the thing, just think of RMS while you use it.

  24. the_boy says:

    They have video of it up at fleshbot, and a review from there is promised. Not to discourage Joel from reviewing it or anything, but if you want to get the scoop, clock’s a ticking.

  25. zuzu says:

    I wonder if skype will support this.

    Ted Nelson was right.

  26. Joel Johnson says:

    We have a review unit on the way!

  27. nehpetsE says:

    i want the one that will weigh me before and after.

  28. cha0tic says:

    Will this be a BBTV review?

  29. Anonymous says:

    this thing looks much more promising than a fleshlight. There is a on this forum who claims to be chosen as one of the testers, his report is in fact very good. As well, they said that the price for a realtouch videos is per minute based and will be just below $1.

  30. Duffong says:


    Lol, best quote from that link you posted:

    “If someone puts this inside a RealDoll, Nerds will be extinct in one generation.”

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