Counting cock rings measures bonks per minute

It looks like a gadget fished out of a Cracker Jack box, but you’d be more likely to fish it out of a cervix: this decidedly cheap looking cock ring measures BPMs, or “bonks per minute.” Because nothing scientifically measures excellent love making than the friction burn of a thousand unlubricated, piston-like thrusts per second. £9.99, but someone should really make one of these that measures duration of intercourse. Beat your last record!

Counting Cock Ring [Love Honey via Shiny Shiny]

1. [Chrs]

   Paint shaker time!

2. [spazzm]

   I can’t help noticing that the orientation of the display will make it difficult to read by the wearer.

3. [Anonymous]

   http://youtube.com/watch?v=LQPESY-pndw

   i think this Akis chap could get over 9999 bpm,

   ‘on his own’

4. [Rob Beschizza]

   I saw this earlier, but knew I could not do it justice.

5. [Anonymous]

   One would think there’s a toggle to show lifetime bonks (LB) – either that or the designers were thinking of the extreme end of the long tail.

6. [pork musket]

   It’s okay Rob, keep practicing and you’ll get your count up.

7. [SamSam]

   Wait… The numbers display Bonks Per Minute… and there are five digits…?

   What kind of maniac goes above 9999 bonks per minute??? 5000 BPMs is just fine for me, thanks. Am I already an old man?

8. [hokano]

   you’d be more likely to fish it out of a cervix

   Dude, I’m eating.

9. [Cpt. Tim]

   yeah but duration is nothing unless you get the cardio going. i imagine turtles can go a long time.