Counting cock rings measures bonks per minute

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It looks like a gadget fished out of a Cracker Jack box, but you’d be more likely to fish it out of a cervix: this decidedly cheap looking cock ring measures BPMs, or “bonks per minute.” Because nothing scientifically measures excellent love making than the friction burn of a thousand unlubricated, piston-like thrusts per second. £9.99, but someone should really make one of these that measures duration of intercourse. Beat your last record!

Counting Cock Ring [Love Honey via Shiny Shiny]

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9 Responses to Counting cock rings measures bonks per minute

  1. Chrs says:

    Paint shaker time!

  2. spazzm says:

    I can’t help noticing that the orientation of the display will make it difficult to read by the wearer.

  3. Anonymous says:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=LQPESY-pndw

    i think this Akis chap could get over 9999 bpm,

    ‘on his own’

  4. Rob Beschizza says:

    I saw this earlier, but knew I could not do it justice.

  5. Anonymous says:

    One would think there’s a toggle to show lifetime bonks (LB) – either that or the designers were thinking of the extreme end of the long tail.

  6. pork musket says:

    It’s okay Rob, keep practicing and you’ll get your count up.

  7. SamSam says:

    Wait… The numbers display Bonks Per Minute… and there are five digits…?

    What kind of maniac goes above 9999 bonks per minute??? 5000 BPMs is just fine for me, thanks. Am I already an old man?

  8. hokano says:

    you’d be more likely to fish it out of a cervix

    Dude, I’m eating.

  9. Cpt. Tim says:

    yeah but duration is nothing unless you get the cardio going. i imagine turtles can go a long time.

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