Apple to Palm: You’re So Sued. Maybe.

tim-cook-steve-jobs.jpg

Asked during yesterday’s sales call about Apple’s plans to deal with the competitors to the iPhone like Android and the Palm Pre, Chief Operating Officer Tim Cook’s voice took on a dangerous edge, like a rusty razor drawn suddenly across a protruding throat.

We approach this business as a software platform business. We are watching the landscape. We like competition as long as they don’t rip off our IP. And if they do, we will go after anyone who does.

Asked if he was specifically talking about Palm and the Pre, Cook began to smash his fist against the table rhythmically, his voice rising into an insane falsetto while his fellow conference call participants laughed with nervous sycophancy:

I don’t want to talk about any specific company. We are ready to suit up and go against anyone. However, we will not stand for having our IP ripped off.

He then closed with a joke about invading Poland, which resulted in riotous laughter and applause.

In all seriousness, what Cook seems to be referring to is the Palm Pre’s multitouch screen, which the iPhone has patented up the wazoo… but threatening to sue competitors for daring to come up with their own independent method for tracking two or more fingers across a screen is the very definition of patent evil.

Apple’s Tim Cook Warns Competitors [Apple]

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9 Responses to Apple to Palm: You’re So Sued. Maybe.

  1. Clay says:

    I have enjoyed other fine gadget blogs.

    Chief Operating Officer Tim Cook’s voice took on a dangerous edge, like a rusty razor drawn suddenly across a protruding throat.

    But you just don’t get this anywhere else.

  2. Tensegrity says:

    Did he just Godwin himself?

  3. PrettyBoyTim says:

    Considering how long Palm has been in the PDA business (for a considerable time while Apple had removed itself from that arena), I’d be astonished if Palm didn’t have some patents that it could use against Apple if it wanted to. Apple may be able to sue Palm, but I’m betting Palm would counter-sue and they’d just end up doing some kind of out-of-court settlement,

  4. dculberson says:

    It’s also funny that they patented multitouch when they didn’t come up with the idea or original executions.

  5. theawesomerobot says:

    Well, I have to say – many of the Pre’s gestures are identical to the iPhone, but is that worth suing over? meh.

  6. Reluctant_Paladin says:

    Looking at the picture for this post, it appears the hand of god is reaching in to squeeze Job’s head.

  7. coop says:

    Apple exec has a hissy fit… just following in his boss’s footsteps.

    nothing to see here, move along people.

    coop

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