The Love Trainer: Better sex through Sega

A failure as a product, Sega is repackaging their Body Trainer / FiTrainer MP3 player and heart monitor as the “Love Trainer.”

Inept as a lover? Wrap a strange cyborg headset around your ears while a GLaDOS-like gynoid voice leads you through the carnal act with helpful advice like: “At the beep, make love much harder.” Look, lady, I’m already trying here… shut up!

The video’s just perfect, implying a gag: from the t-shirt wearing schlub with erectile dysfunction as main protagonist to the hilariously unhelpful Love Trainer “instruction” to the occasional, staccato-flashes of a single erect nipple (NSFW, FYI). But you can actually order the Love Trainer from the site, so maybe it’s not an elaborate joke. Maybe it’s just hilariously stupid.

Love Trainer [Official Site via Engadget]

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8 Responses to The Love Trainer: Better sex through Sega

  1. Halloween Jack says:

    This will be hacked by desperate geeks to say things like “It’s OK, this happens all the time” and “Now for the anal!”

  2. Anonymous says:

    Reminds me of the sex scene in Demolition Man.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD3ulOglkcI

  3. dole says:

    Squarepusher is baby-makin’ music!

  4. Anonymous says:

    Sweet source of ringtones!

    “The foreplay will now begin!”

    lol: captcha says: for asbury NSFW captchas?

  5. yoko says:

    We have recently received complaints of a competitor illegally using images and video from Itami.com in order to promote “Love Trainer”.

    Please remove the copyrighted trademarks and video content including audio containing: “Sega Toys”, “Itami”, “Dr. Itami”, “FiTrainer.”

    We do not feel this is a legitimate product and we have received many inquiries about it from viewers of your site. We are contacting all sites that have written about Love Trainer and will take legal action if required.

    http://i.gizmodo.com/5141739/bizarre-lovetrainer-headset-actually-an-elaborate-sexy-hoax
    http://www.engadget.com/2009/01/28/video-sega-toys-love-trainer-says-the-love-making-will-now-b

    Let me know when you will be able to comply with our request.

  6. David says:

    *laugh* Too hilarious to be true!

  7. License Farm says:

    I’m reminded of nothing so much as the non-contact sex headsets from Demolition Man. An unfortunate association. Sega ought to have stayed out of the hardware game.

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