You can have sex with the Muji Tenga Egg

Muji, the austere Japanese lifestyles retailer, something like Ikea meets American Apparel, purportedly sells trays of six Egg Masturbation Aids. Unwrap the Cadbury-like foil, douse the ridged inside with the included lubricant, and scramble. Update: Oops. Turns out it's not Muji, but Tenga. Too bad!

I'd have chalked them up to a clever photoshop were it not for this video [embedded below] of one being prepared for use. (It's safe for work, but weird.)

Fascinating. Wouldn't it be wonderful if the shells were compostable? And perhaps I'm strange, but I would feel far less creepy putting my waist whisk into one of these than into a Fleshlight.

Muji also sells socks.

[via The Frisky!]

Previously:

Discussion

Take a look at this

#1 posted by Nelson.C , January 29, 2009 12:47 PM

And the socks are washable! As is the fleshlight. So I understand.

#2 posted by pork musket , January 29, 2009 12:59 PM

This seems like a product from the future, like I saw it in Demolition Man or something. Weird.

#3 posted by skrewgun , January 29, 2009 1:18 PM

Ahem, am I the only one that thinks it is unusably small?

#4 posted by Anonymous , January 29, 2009 1:22 PM

*Speechless*

#5 posted by Skwid

, January 29, 2009 1:26 PM

I was thinking the same thing, Skrewgun.

#6 posted by JoeKickass , January 29, 2009 1:55 PM

Holey shit, that thing is HUGE!

#7 posted by Halloween Jack , January 29, 2009 3:01 PM

That lube looks like it's more viscous than egg white.

#8 posted by Brainspore , January 29, 2009 3:09 PM

Beat that, Cadbury!

#9 posted by pauldrye , January 29, 2009 3:12 PM

Give that to your Kinder and they'd be very Surprised. And you'd probably get ten in federal lockup.

#10 posted by Alan , January 29, 2009 3:32 PM

The lube pouch reminds me of those little to-go things of mayonaisse. As such, I can never look at a mayo pack in quite the same light again.

Or for that matter, eggs.

#11 posted by brownhb , January 29, 2009 4:00 PM

does look small. . .would it break? at least you can turn it inside-out for cleaning.

#12 posted by dodi , January 29, 2009 4:04 PM

Those are pretty clever. I like the overall design and the different texture options. Very discreet in bedside drawers. None of the links are in English, are these intended for one-time usage?

I wonder what the Easter Bunny's position is on these little darlings.

#13 posted by monopole , January 29, 2009 4:30 PM

Toydemon.com is the American dealer for Tenga. Very reasonable and rather good (I've tried the onacup units) A bit on the small side but they have US sized units. And they ship and bill discretely. They also have an English language forum.

#14 posted by Scuba SM , January 29, 2009 4:41 PM

#12,

I imagine he's trying out a variety.

#15 posted by HeatherB , January 29, 2009 5:49 PM

I feel ill.

#16 posted by Anonymous , January 29, 2009 6:38 PM

Anyone have a source for these outside of the US? I checked out Monopole's suggestion of Toydemon.com but they are US only and I'm in Canada.

#17 posted by dodi , January 29, 2009 8:20 PM

Thanks Monopole. As I suspected, most of Tenga's products are disposable items, not intended for multiple usage. In the forum at toydemon.com a few people way they reuse them.
I cannot think of any female toys that are disposable.

#18 posted by Anonymous , January 30, 2009 3:40 AM

#16
"I cannot think of any female toys that are disposable."

Men?

I jest, I jest.

#19 posted by LogrusZed , January 30, 2009 8:08 AM

Dear Asians,

Sorry to hear about your small dicks via an advertisement for a jack-off aid. I'm sure being good at math and having first access to Nintendo and Playstation titles more than makes up for your incredibly tiny dongs.

Warmest Regards,
-Logrus.

P.S.: Thanks for all the hentai you sick fucks.

#20 posted by Jaycatt , January 30, 2009 8:48 AM

I couldn't look away from that video...

#21 posted by grom , January 30, 2009 9:02 AM

It's so small I accidentally the whole thing!

#22 posted by burned1000 , January 30, 2009 10:42 AM

based on the size of their population, i don't think size has been an issue.. (just saying)

#23 posted by awood , January 30, 2009 6:10 PM

Yes they're small, but it seems like they're meant to stretch, plus I don't think you'd want a huge one to envelop your whole dong!
What a great Christmas or birthday present!

#24 posted by Anonymous , January 31, 2009 2:16 AM

burned1001

thats pretty racist.
Meet more and stare more,
you'd be surprised.

#25 posted by Anonymous , January 31, 2009 12:54 PM

Coat it in fur and market it as anatomically correct tribbles for Star Trek porn.

#26 posted by Felix Mitchell , February 1, 2009 6:59 AM

#23 : the inside can stretch, but the 'shell' seems to have a rigid hole in it that I'd just be able to fit my thumb into, but no dongs.

I'm not keen on that little pointy part that appeared when he turned it inside out. When I'm poking some little Japanese thing I don't want it to poke back.

#27 posted by Anonymous , February 3, 2009 1:29 PM

I just tried out the wavy model and I'd have to say it does the job. While it's intended as a one time onacup, it's very easy to wash out and I think I'll give it another go.

Also there's no poky thing at the top of mine, so that's good. It's very small but it stretches to fit the *ahem* form well. I never wanted to get an aid before but these were to discreet and not creepy to pass up, really.