Pocket Shark: The Pen of Death

This $7 marker is made of grivory, which is some sort of reinforced plastic. The intention is to create a pen that is also a capable weapon.

Adage Fail: The makers failed to get through their pitch without saying "The pen is mightier than the sword."

Furthermore:

They also sell spears and polypropylene sticks, injection-molded to resemble rattan canes.

Pocket Shark [Cold Steel via Awesomer OhGizmo, etc.]

[#1 posted by The Lizardman , February 5, 2009 3:32 PM]

How does one submit a link to the TSA? I can't wait to see them ban writing utensils

[#2 posted by Halloween Jack , February 5, 2009 3:33 PM]

Just a thought here: did they have to put the Cold Steel logo on it? If you're going to carry a secret weapon that has the name of a weapon emblazoned on it in big silver letters, why not just carry a 6" length of sawed-off broomstick in your pocket?

[#3 posted by Halloween Jack , February 5, 2009 3:36 PM]

Also amusing is this bit of ad copy: "Here are some classy walking sticks that are just at home at the opera as they are on a stroll through the urban jungle." That's the last time that you'll cough during Rigoletto, you bastard!

[#4 posted by Rob Beschizza , February 5, 2009 3:37 PM]

My wife had trouble getting a standard $10 fountain pen through TSA because it had a sharper nib than usual. There's no way this thing will get on a plane without incompetent screening.

[#5 posted by grimc , February 5, 2009 3:41 PM]

Actually, Grivory comes from grelephants.

[#6 posted by Anonymous , February 5, 2009 4:03 PM]

@4: is that a covert handmade weapon in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Great idea for your extremist friends on valentines day.

Just add it to the list with ceramic knives(which aren't detectable by metal detector) - yours for less than 10$ at a good local supermarket).

Luckily most terrorists are idiots and the security at airports isn't what catches most of them.

[#7 posted by ROSSINDETROIT , February 5, 2009 4:49 PM]

Warrior Lifestyle?
Warrior.
Lifestyle?

Please!

[#8 posted by geekpdx , February 5, 2009 5:27 PM]

O M F G

They sell weaponized sarongs.

[#9 posted by shMerker , February 5, 2009 5:40 PM]

You guys are going on about their bludgeoning canes. Everyone knows that sword canes are several times as awesome.

The videos are pretty hilarious in an unintentional way too.

"The 625 Magnum [blowgun] is superior as a hunting arm, tool of self defense, and most of all a means of recreation..."

[#10 posted by shMerker , February 5, 2009 5:54 PM]

This is probably the best one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYAZ1Q_28A4&eurl=http://www.coldsteel.com/blowgun4of4.html

"As I said before you can have a lot of fun with your blowgun. In inclement weather you can shoot inside, you can shoot it in the basement, you can shoot it in in the den or the rumpus room, you can go to the drug store..."

Also check out the end where he beats the hell out of a bunch of tires with it.

[#11 posted by duallain , February 5, 2009 6:08 PM]

I'm really disappointed their Jokes of the Week page didn't have a link to their homepage.

[#12 posted by Scuba SM , February 5, 2009 7:15 PM]

Maybe I'm naive, but I don't understand how wrapping the sarong around your wrists is supposed to help you defeat your opponent. (link from comment #8)

[#13 posted by dculberson , February 5, 2009 9:20 PM]

Duallain, you just ruined my night. I made the mistake of reading the first joke on that page. Oofah.

[#14 posted by The Lizardman , February 5, 2009 9:22 PM]

@4 Huh? Isn't incompetent screening redundant when we're talking about the TSA? Or has BB mislead me with its many posts to that effect?This thing will walk right on any plane, any time but that bottle of breastmilk or life-saving medicine is going to get you sent to an undisclosed location

[#15 posted by clothingoptional , February 6, 2009 5:46 AM]

Warrior Lifestyle: Sammiches Included!

[#16 posted by frogmarch , February 6, 2009 6:02 AM]

Mongol: What is best in a warrior's life?

Conan: To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women! Also, cheese fries.

[#17 posted by Anonymous , February 6, 2009 6:28 AM]

#12 The most obvious use would be to choke your opponent with it. Beyond that it could be wrapped around limbs to assist is "submission style" holds.

Is it more effective than just using your hands? Probably not.

Al lot of these guys fancy themselves to be a more violent, less friendly version of Jackie Chan, able to use any ordinary object as a deadly weapon. Most forget that nearly all of Mr. Chan's on screen fights are choreography. Also they often have neglected to learn that relying on in a fight puts you at a disadvantage compared to the guy who's using tactics and weapons he's familiar and well trained with.

Warrior Lifestyle indeed.

[#18 posted by donniebnyc , February 6, 2009 6:53 AM]

From the linked page:

"As the saying goes, "the pen is mightier than the sword." Indeed, Cold Steel makes some mighty strong swords, but this little pen makes for some clever competition."

I guess they took your advice.

[#19 posted by Anonymous , February 6, 2009 7:42 AM]

Help I'm anonymous and in need of a sharp pointy thingy.

[#20 posted by Anonymous , February 6, 2009 7:42 AM]

Tactical Defense Pen

A little more Expensive than that POS up there but more likely to kill someone. word.

[#21 posted by dculberson , February 6, 2009 7:45 AM]

Donnie, they failed to get through their pitch without saying it.

From the looks of it, there's not much that guy can say no to - as long as it's edible. I still wouldn't want to go up against him in a fight; I'm a wuss.

[#22 posted by RER , February 6, 2009 7:56 AM]

Perhaps I'm alone in this but a fat man in a polyester shirt with a Bowie knife in his hand is not immediately indicative of a "warrior lifestyle" to me.

[#23 posted by geekpdx , February 6, 2009 8:20 AM]

@19

Do you think he bought all those cheeseburgers with money? Spoils of war, my friend. Spoils of war.

[#24 posted by Skep , February 6, 2009 8:45 AM]

I have to agree with post two. The giant logos and "coldsteel.com" silk screen on this thing make it Epic Fail as far as making a covert weapon that can pass as an everyday writing utensil. The pen will not only have the potential of being confiscated at TSA checkpoints but the big emblazoned silk screening will serve as excellent evidence at your trial for illegal possession of a concealed weapon--a felony in California.

[#25 posted by RER , February 6, 2009 9:14 AM]

Be sure to click the fat man "Warrior Lifestyle" link on the site to see pictures of Lynn's recent trip to Australia. He apparently cut a vast swath through Oz's wildlife with a .357 Magnum.

[#26 posted by Ernunnos , February 6, 2009 9:50 AM]

#6 Ceramic kitchen knives have a bit of metal embedded in them. Government buyers can get knives that lack that feature, but you won't find those for sale at your local kitchen store.

[#27 posted by Galoot , February 6, 2009 10:00 AM]

They misspelled "worrier." He's thinking, "what if I'm late for the cake?".

[#28 posted by Mav , February 6, 2009 10:24 AM]

Well, I had the pleasure of working on a documentary about Lynn and he's not like that at all! He looks big, sure, but he trains with the best guys in the world all the time and he really knows his stuff.
Plus, sarongs aren't the best weapons but they can be used. Just because you can't do it, doesn't mean it can't be done.

[#29 posted by Moriarty , February 6, 2009 2:47 PM]

This is why I always wear my purple, glittery sarong, because you can't be too careful. That slightly-better-than-fists capability that comes with practice can be the thing that saves your life. Assuming your assailant is himself unarmed and allows you time to remove your sarong and wind it around your wrists.

I am a warrior.

[#30 posted by Anonymous , February 6, 2009 3:31 PM]

Knowing the reputation that LT has, I wouldn't be surprised if he stole this idea from someone else, much like he did for most of his knives.
Cold Steel = Cold STEAL.

[#31 posted by karpov , February 6, 2009 10:21 PM]

yeah, the problem i have with my pens is they just don't stand up during repeated stabbing! I know, i'll buy a reinforced one for next time I get stabby!

[#32 posted by Anonymous , February 7, 2009 5:09 AM]

I'm pretty dissapointed.
I love this site and i visit it every day. I have a lot of time for the people who post on it and i generally find it brightens up my day or educates me in some way. However, once you see a picture of a fat guy you all immediately turn into the kind of stereotye affirming douchebags who make my skin crawl.
Just because the guy is fat you think he can't fight? That he can't do martial arts? That he can't make a decent product?
Boingboing has a reputation for intelligence, innovation and passion for knowledge. If you do your homework into Lynn you'll see that he trains hard and spends his life following a dream -whether that's a dream i agree with is another matter - i respect his work ethic and i respect his dedicaton.
You should pretty much be ashamed of yourselves. I thought the readers of boingboing were cooler than that.

[#33 posted by Anonymous , February 7, 2009 11:24 PM]

#32,

Respect him all you want, he's a known thief. Nice role model you've chosen for yourself.

[#34 posted by Halloween Jack , February 9, 2009 10:16 AM]

If you do your homework into Lynn

Oh, shit! Forgot to do my homework into Lynn! It's like that nightmare that I still have about high school and/or college! (No, not the naked one, the other one.)

[#35 posted by Anonymous , February 10, 2009 12:25 AM]

Interesting.
Known thief? Known by whom?
I think if you are going to accuse someone of theft you should perhaps explain yourself. Sweeping statements like that could get you into a lot of trouble.

[#36 posted by Galoot , February 10, 2009 1:59 PM]

No trouble for #33. He's not the only one's got a pen.