By Rob Beschizza at 4:59 am Fri, Mar 6, 2009
White chocolate is a crime against all that is good and holy in the world. This can be demonstrated mathematically.
Paul, don’t you mean white “chocolate,” in quotes? It’s mostly the calling it chocolate that causes it to be a crime against foodmanity.
I really don’t think we should use Manatees as food.
#1: Agreed. Replace this with a very-dark-chocolate keyboard with white markings
Note that the general shape wouldn’t be hard to do (at worst, cast a mold from a spare keyboard). The markings are the hard part. I suppose one might be able to press one of the cake-decoration edible-ink-jet printers into service, or make up a stencil, or engrave the letters into the keys and then do a wipe-in…
I like white chocolate. You can all go hang.
I’ll go hang if you like, but if white chocolate is chocolate then a Big Mac is a hamburger.
…or George Bush is a president.
But how’s the right shift key?
Since it’s really important that the Web knows my feelings on so-called white chocolate, I’ll take time out of my day to post in this thread saying, “Ick! Not chocolate, at all.”
White Chocolate = BLECH
THe people have spoken.
Actually, I don’t dislike white chocolate. I just dislike its name. Whatever it is, it isn’t chocolate as I understand the term; it’s some other kind of confection.
Your milage will, of course, vary.
let’s invent a new name for it.
I submit “Wocko.”
Chocolate is nice, but I believe someone mentioned hamburgers…
What is wrong with you people? White Chocolate is delicious! I don’t like how people discriminate against white chocolate just because it’s not “real” chocolate.
@14: It was wise of you to post that anonymously, for it makes it more difficult to mock you as mercilessly as you deserve!
Or perhaps you are merely mentally ill, in which case I shall reserve pity for the terrible, terrible way the brain fever has manifested itself in you. Life, it is cruel!
Prophetic tweet from why the lucky stiff, sometime author.
I prefer the dark chocolate of my old Commodore 64 keyboard heh!
I see what your thinly veiled attacks on “white” chocolate really means!
//quietly backs away from black plastic keyboard
I submit the name “Congealed Jizm of Evil”.
Yes, I don’t like the taste, but as others have pointed out, it’s not chocolate. No cocoa and hence theobromine, so it can’t be chocolate.
Thanks once again to the almighty power of the TinEye, I traced it back to Murat Suyur.
White chocolate *is* chocolate because it’s made from cocoa butter, but just lacks the cocoa solids. You can’t make it without cocoa beans.
Congealed Jizm of Evil (I’m with you #19) is made from cocoa butter so it should come as no surprise that it tastes like hand lotion. Because that’s exactly what it is.
Fun fact: cocoa butter is also sometimes used as a base for suppositories because of its melt-in-your-mouth-as-well-as-your-ass properties.
It’s cocoa butter (the staple of good non-white chocolate), vanilla and sugar – I’m not sure if it’s chocolate, but I do like it.
Though mind you, when it’s bad it’s really quite foul. It’s got a rather delicate taste, so there’s very little in it that can hide low quality, accidents, or incompetence. Dark chocolates can to a larger degree get away with their issues as long as the cocoa powder is decent.
@James Holden: There’s a logic fail there…
“Toast is a sandwich because it’s made from bread but just lacks the filling. You can’t make it without bread.”
I see the real issue here. A dark chocolate keyboard would look like a Dell keyboard, whereas the white chocolate keyboard is obviously a Mac keyboard. Slamming the white chocolate fans is shameless discrimination against Mac fanboys!
Full disclosure: I love white chocolate and have a Mac, but no, I’m not a fanboy.
@pauldrye: The bread analogy would more accurately be: “Wonder bread *is* bread because it’s made from wheat. You can’t make bread without wheat.” when comparing Wonder with homemade whole grain bread. Nothing to do with a sandwich. Your sandwich analogy would be more like equating white chocolate to Smores, because you can’t make a Smore without chocolate. Non-sequitur.
@Zenbeatnik: No, no quite…the unstated filip at the end of James’ logic is “White chocolate is chocolate because it’s made of cocoa beans and all things made from cocoa beans are chocolate“. It’s begging the question.
If you like: “Wonder bread is pasta because it’s made from wheat and you can’t make pasta without wheat.”
#21: You sure can make white “chocolate” without cocoa butter. It’s part of the reason the cheap stuff is so disgusting.
I would point out that cheap chocolate is disgusting. White, dark, milk… if it’s crap, it’s crap. That’s one reason I’ll never understand how people can buy M&M’s- the chocolate is some of the lowest quality chocolate available in stores- the makers should be ashamed, not rich.
Hmm. Every single time I’ve ever had white chocolate of any sort, I’ve thrown up within 5-10 minutes. Coincidence?
Also, I’m in full support of the “it’s not chocolate!” argument. To get white chocolate you have to remove all the stuff that would have otherwise made it into real chocolate.
WC is like selling peanut oil, and calling it peanut butter.
Little known fact: Tay Zonday’s song was originally called “White Chocolate Keyboard”. The title was changed because it’s just too damn hard to sing.
Its called “chocolate” because it contains cocoa butter. Vanilla bark doesn’t have cocoa butter.
If white chocolate is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Given that a good white chocolate is just a decent chocolate minus cocoa powder, that’s a curious statistic.
“#19 posted by Enochrewt , March 8, 2009 2:07 PM
I submit the name “Congealed Jizm of Evil”.”
No wonder my fiance loves white chocolate.
White chocolate is amazing! who cares if it’s not actually chocolate.
real chocolate must contain not only cocoa butter but cocoa solids as well, thus, white,icky stuff can’t be chocolate
I love white chocolate!
but it is not chocolate
“White chocolate” contains cocoa butter, sugar, and milk but no cocoa solids (and thus does not qualify to be considered true chocolate).
Excerpted from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chocolate
And since we all know that EVERYTHING on Wikipedia is the gospel truth…
Some people love white chocolate. Others think it shouldn’t even be called chocolate because it insults the category. Whatever the case, I think the white chocolate keyboard as shown is super-cool cheap web hosting, just for the geek factor alone.
This isn’t an actual product you can buy–not yet at least–but rather a digital rendering. Nonetheless, companies like Hershey and Cadbury should really capitalize on the idea and bring us a line of nerd confectionary shaped like this. I personally wouldn’t eat this keyboard because I prefer real dark chocolate, though I wouldn’t mind a chocolate mouse (the pointing peripheral, not the rodent) instead.
this is the BOMM !!!!!!!!!!!!, and its my bestfriend. =)
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