By Rob Beschizza at 11:38 am Tue, May 12, 2009
Update: As requested:
Unicorn Chaser please oh god
Hi meatbags! We’re from the uncanny valley and we want you to play with us. For Ever, and Ever, and Ever.
In the words of Lord Hagrid:
Creepy, Creepier, Creepiest, and Creepiest to the Nth. In that order.
Haggard…. KING Haggard… Oi.
OK, so how long until I can download my consciousness into one of these bodies to freak out my friends?
How long until I can download into ALL OF THEM?
This year has been a little crazy for the Andersons. You may recall we had some trouble last year. The robot council had us banished to an asteroid. That hasn’t undermined our holiday cheer. And we know it’s almost Christmas from the marks we make on the wall. And that’s our favorite time of year!
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime, where we’re working in a mine for our robot overlords. Did I say overlords? I meant protectors. Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.
They tried to decorate and make it look more Christmassy, but what they did looks more like Christmas in hell. They nailed a Santa to a cross in front of everyone. It wasn’t pleasant but I’m sure they meant well. And the rocks outside the airlock exude ammonia-scented snow. It’s like a Winter wonderland.
That’s all the family news that we’re allowed to talk about. We really hope you’ll come and visit us soon. I mean we’re literally begging you to visit us. And make it quick before they [MESSAGE REDACTED]. Now it’s time for Christmas dinner. I think the robots sent us a pie! You know I love my soylent green.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime, where we’re working in a mine for our robot overlords. Did I say overlords? I meant protectors. Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime!
Y’all complain too much. I spent some quality time with that first robot. She loved it too. You can see she still got the “afterglow” in that picture.
You can call me John Connor, cause I’d kill one of those creepy fucking things if it got within 3 miles of me.
Paper mache and a lazy eye.. excellent combo.
It’s a dream come truuuuue!
i like the freaky *hospital vibe* of the second one.
oh, and captcha, *814)652-0226* is not a WORD.
Give me Drossel von Flugel any day over these freaks – she’s from the right side of uncanny valley.
Thanks for the Unicron chaser. Much appreciated.
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Jason Weisberger, Publisher
Ken Snider, Sysadmin