Convert documents to toilet paper in the comfort of your office

fataltourist

#1 – 1:37 PM June 1, 2009

Neat. But why does it only take covert documents?

Nelson.C

#2 – 1:40 PM June 1, 2009

That headline should either be, "Convert documents to toilet paper[..]" or "Covert documents as toilet paper[..]" perhaps.

Takashi Omoto

#3 – 1:57 PM June 1, 2009

I think it makes 2 paper rolls per hour, and takes up to 1,800 sheets of paper for that purpose, albeit it provably runs for a long time out of that paper. It's 7,2 Kg of paper, after all.

HeavyD14

#4 – 2:21 PM June 1, 2009

What does it do with the staples?

Mr_Voodoo

#5 – 2:46 PM June 1, 2009

@#4 HEAVYD14

It converts standard staples into ass-rending staples. Voila!

grytpype

#6 – 3:51 PM June 1, 2009

I need a machine that converts my used toilet paper into documents.

Halloween Jack

#7 – 4:15 PM June 1, 2009

I thought that the Japanese were in favor of bidet-type jets of water that directed soothing, cleansing fountains at their nethers, in lieu of bogroll. (I mean, I could guess that most of their crappers didn't have built-in sound effects to mask the noise of elimination, or blood-sugar gauges or what have you, but still.)

Tensegrity

#8 – 4:49 PM June 1, 2009

Gives a whole new meaning to TPS reports.

Chevan

#9 – 7:10 PM June 1, 2009

No, toilet paper is very much still used over there. It's also not provided in many public bathrooms, from what I've heard.

BastardNamban

#10 – 10:17 PM June 1, 2009

This would explain the extremely low quality of most Japanese toilet paper- it's made from recycled TPS reports.

Seriously, Japanese toilet paper is terrible. It's like wiping your ass with fine sandpaper. You know that really shitty (as in quality) institutional 1-ply stuff thats like a tissue cut in half with sand mixed in? Yeah, that's most consumer brand toilet paper in Japan. Only one brand over there, Pure, even comes close to the basic low-average American softness level.

And yes, many "bathrooms" don't carry toilet paper- it's expected of you to bring your own. I'm not joking. There is a reason they are always handing out tissue packets with ads on them- commuters typically carry one in a pocket at all times when out in case of having to use a non-paper bathroom.

And I thought the ex-marine I met before I went over was joking about having to use your socks in an emergency.... turns out, he wasn't, and it was only after living there for nearly 3 years that I realized he must have done just that many times...

dculberson

#11 – 8:42 AM June 2, 2009

H. Jack, even with a bidet you still need to wipe. Otherwise you pull your pants up on a soggy and still dirty netherworld.

Jeff9

#12 – 6:34 PM June 3, 2009

That's funny because the Japanese use very little toilet paper compared to the US because all their toilets have bidet sprayer set ups. The Japanese Toilet is really a toilet bidet combination and although nice is also very expensive. You can keep your current toilet and get the same benefits by adding a hand bidet sprayer for very little cost. A hand held bathroom bidet sprayer is so much better than a stand alone bidet and this is why:: 1. It's less expensive (potentially allot less) 2.You can install it yourself = no plumber expense 3. It works better by providing more control of where the water spray goes and a greater volume of water flow. 4. It requires no electricity and there are few things that can go wrong with it. Available at http://www.bathroomsprayers.com

Itsumishi

#13 – 5:21 PM June 4, 2009

I need a machine that converts my used toilet paper into documents.

Get a Government job!