Reasons Why Surfing "Sucks"

After much debate, I've decided I can't actually tell whether this site is trying to be ironic. Here is the crux of the anti-surfing argument:
Venturing into cold murky polluted water is an invitation to disaster. There are jellyfish waiting to sting mercilessly; sharp rocks and coral heads... Ear, nose and respitory [sic] infections are inevitable... Everyone has heard of white sharks, and have you heard about the killer whale attacks, angry harbor seals and teritorial [sic] elephant seals? Their unprovoked attacks on surfers is legend. While out in the water someone is for sure to be breaking into your car and stealing your money, credit cards and cell phone. Don't forget the broken glass, the increase in your car insurance and the towing, when you discover the wheels are missing!
My mellow hath officially been harshed. [via StokeReport]
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8 Responses to Reasons Why Surfing "Sucks"

  1. hokano says:

    And Oregon. Don’t forget how dangerous and just generally bad it is to live in Oregon. Don’t do it!

  2. dculberson says:

    And have you heard of that ultraviolet radiation? (UV) Not to mention that when you’re outside, someone is surely breaking into your home and stealing all your possessions. Don’t forget the splintered wood, increase in homeowners insurance, and the doctor bills when you discover your will to live is missing! Better to spend all day in your basement, wrapped in a cocoon, waiting for the day you die.

  3. Erich says:

    They forgot the worst part… the chronic and unavoidable exposure to DHMO. That stuff kills.

  4. dargaud says:

    Reminds me of the climbing disclaimer

  5. guy says:

    I suspect this is the work of some surfing elitist who doesn’t want noobs on ‘his’ (and I’m sure it is a he) beach.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Don’t forget the primary danger of surfing: Surfers. If you’ve ever dealt with these jealous territorial creatures you’ll understand.

  7. Bottlekid says:

    Not as dangerous as Dandelions, tho:

  8. Marlet says:

    Whats he on about, this just dumb, maybe would should force him to surf in a sea of jellyfish, sure he will change his mind when it saves his ass :P
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