Write an iPhone disappointment Haiku in the comments, win a Mophie Juice Pack Air

You have an iPhone. You are dismayed by some attribute or experience associated with said iPhone. Accordingly, you will write a Haiku in the comments to this post expressing said dismay. You will as a result win a Mophie Juice Pack Air battery pack, an $80 value described by Joel Johnson as the first case that I've considered keeping on my iPhone for a long time. Runner-up wins a Moleskine knockoff. Go!

About Rob Beschizza

Rob Beschizza is the Managing Editor of Boing Boing. He's @beschizza on Twitter and can be found on Facebook too. Try your luck at besc...@gmail.com  
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214 Responses to Write an iPhone disappointment Haiku in the comments, win a Mophie Juice Pack Air

  1. davedorr9 says:

    Stole an iPhone today
    Owner did not purchase iFart
    In the trash it goes

  2. Clinton says:

    Remember downtime?
    I am so tweeting this one.
    Pooping has changed, man.

  3. Lance746 says:

    Dear Ion battery…
    Ahh, you inflame in my face,
    What sweet melody!

  4. Lance746 says:

    Dear Ion battery…
    Ahh, you inflame in my face,
    What sweet melody!

  5. notwant says:

    phone phone phone phone phone
    me me me me me me me
    phone phone phone ahhhhh fuck

  6. pupdog says:

    music has faded
    friends become unreachable
    there is no juice here

  7. here, there, inside, out
    no signal is to be found
    yet i keep paying

  8. kmv says:

    Hello? Hell-oo -ooo
    -kccchhhhh- -kccchhhh- Reception is bad!
    I’ll call you later

  9. want not says:

    I have a new toy
    Ha! I bet it’s an I phone
    they’re so yesterday

    {true story}

  10. Dr. Rek says:

    at last sweet freedom
    but the garden walls are high
    must break out of jail

    no, no i did not
    type that word that appeared
    why don’t you trust me

  11. tesselater says:

    “This Device Is Not
    Compatible With Your Phone”
    Said from the toilet

  12. Anonymous says:

    [not a heykoo]

    I phoooooooooooooooonnnneee



  13. grimc says:

    Too cool for iPhone
    Not going to join the cult
    (Really want, don’t tell)

  14. JP says:

    Fell and cracked the screen
    two hundred to get it fixed
    glass shards in my thumb

  15. stwaldo says:

    Tried to send photo.
    3G network is up now!
    Whoops, only Edge now.

  16. NotAwesome says:

    fancy ringtones should 
    be allowed for system sounds
    new mail “Ding!” gets old

  17. Hate AT & T
    But must have iPhone hipness
    No one left to call

  18. teehud says:

    A different juice
    can’t use iPhone with a glove.
    Named O.J. Simpson.

  19. rAMPANTiDIOCY says:

    I enjoy drinking,
    though clumsy when I do it,
    my screen is broken!

  20. TJ S says:

    iPhone gets eMail
    Says “Favorite Band Tonight!”
    Bill came. Fuck, am broke.

  21. blackbear says:

    Google Voice is cool!
    Except for those with iPhones.
    Android anyone?

  22. Jello_Raptor says:

    Apple and Google
    fighting over google voice
    bring out the jail break

    frankly, i actually my iphone is orders of magnitude better once i jail broke it. that and that fact that i can now use it as a ruby on rails dev server to impress my friends =P.

  23. Ben says:

    girlfriend got one too
    now when i want to bump her
    “there’s an app for that”

  24. Loz says:

    Calm down crazed fanboys
    and bile filled haters:
    It’s a great gadget.

  25. JATORRES says:

    Servicing said phone

    requires much self-loathing.

    Always back-up. PLEASE!

  26. Bencyclopedia says:

    “Late summer,” my ass!
    Where is the MMS
    ATT licks balls

  27. Oh, Apple iPhone,
    Please don’t flip the screen on me,
    I lay on my side!

  28. Dan Wheeler says:

    My iPhone can run
    Doom and Myst and Wolfenstein…
    I’m Bejeweled instead.

  29. Ben Ruskin says:

    Dear AT&T
    Please get your asses in gear
    I want MMS

  30. Ilihia says:

    Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
    Respond to me! Tap tap.
    What the fudge? Restart.

  31. Billthefighter says:

    A tragedy, yes
    That with sensitive touchscreen
    No porn apps permitted

  32. theawesomerobot says:

    Can you hear me now?
    wait, of course you can’t hear me
    AT&T sucks.

  33. keypad is screwed up
    jruosf ua dveefrf ip to you
    using pen to text!

  34. Narual says:

    I took you swimming
    you fried in Puerto Rico
    oops — not waterproof.

    (it was an accident! I swear!)

    I missed my pocket:
    corner-first on the sidewalk
    your glass face, shattered.

    (Also an accident!)

  35. Andy Affleck says:

    Geocaching Scouts
    I think we’re getting closer
    The battery died.

  36. Adam Fields says:

    alt text MIA
    xkcd, I miss your
    clever afterthought

  37. Teufelaffe says:

    It is so simple
    How could it not launch with this?
    The Copy and Paste

  38. Gimpel says:

    as fine as a thread
    the crack grows along the back
    i dropped my iphone

  39. Nephie says:

    iphone held upright
    that doesn’t stop landscape mode
    shake, shake still landscaped

  40. Jesse Jones says:

    Pictures to be sent
    MMS not supported
    Cry, my photos, cry

  41. technogeek says:

    Sadly fall the leaves:
    Apple Corp hates my network,
    network hates them back.

  42. tom says:

    Standing still at home
    nonetheless call fades and drops
    call back, say goodbye

  43. Anonymous says:

    Overpriced product
    Bought in droves by mindless fans
    Can you smell burning?

  44. hokano says:

    your voicemail arrives
    as i watch the koi swim
    hours after you called

  45. Kristin says:

    I don’t need a life.
    The internet is with me.
    Check Facebook again…

  46. El Zilcho says:

    “I’ve got an iPhone!”
    [waves it in air] “AN IPHONE!!!”

  47. wildweasel says:

    iPhone’s apps aren’t free
    I hate wasting my money
    on some fart sound app.

  48. mdclarinet says:

    iPhone’s one year old
    Upgrade to the 3GS?

  49. Gorgonzola says:

    2g makes me scream
    3g, so last century
    wifi sucks down volts

  50. Brian Crowder says:

    So good that it hurts
    Make up some flaws if you must
    Nothing is as good

  51. lolbrandon says:

    as apple ponders
    google voice for iphone app
    we can jailbreak

  52. leo says:

    iPhone? I don’t own.
    Why not? See others’ complaints.
    Haikus are lame poems.

  53. Spankosaurus says:

    On bus with iPhone
    shouting so they all can hear
    still no-one sees me

  54. Anonymous says:

    Slim, black, focal point,
    removes sky, the sea, my friends.
    Put it down and live.

  55. Spankosaurus says:

    Nightclub! Strobe-light app
    waving iPhone overhead
    did not get me friends

  56. Ben Doom says:

    No iPhone for me
    I have no use for Juice Packs
    Present for the boss?

    Actually, I’d just as soon not win. I just like haiku. :-)

  57. Ben says:

    four of us dining
    one by one, glowing faces
    etiquette is dead

  58. Pusher says:

    there is no iPhone
    there is only the magic
    and AT&T

  59. Secret_Life_of_Plants says:

    spirally pinwheel
    in vain you search for 3G
    never to be found.

  60. Josh Michtom says:

    Was so excited
    To surf the web anywhere
    But damn! It’s a Touch.

  61. Ito Kagehisa says:

    Candylike touchy feelscreen
    full of Darwin goodness
    sadly, it is a phone.

  62. El Zilcho says:

    Small text, phone held close
    phone hot like kittehz belly
    BANG! Glass in my eye

  63. ldo3n says:

    I loved her so much.
    She called back: “Remember me?”
    Click. Battery died.

  64. Shushboy says:

    A shiny new phone.
    Now to message a friend!
    “Best pay-up, suckah.”

  65. brianicus says:

    iphone battery
    runtime is horrible fail
    external needed

  66. ChiarasDad says:

    Oh, autocorrect,
    nerdiness ain’t neediness!
    Forsake not us geeks.

  67. donald Hitchcock says:

    cracks in the surface
    white hot symbol for status gone
    so few sans iphone

  68. chris mcdonalds says:




  69. lod3n says:

    I loved her so much.
    She called back: “Remember me?”
    Click. Battery died.

  70. Austin Lang says:

    Important Phone Call
    Why won’t this damn slider work?
    Why did I jailbreak?

  71. clarkmac0 says:

    All i Really want
    Is A camera on front
    Please let me have one

  72. ryan leonard says:

    no multitasking?
    screw this i’m buying a pre
    where are all the apps?

  73. Jeremy says:

    My first Apple yeah,
    And thanks to AT&T
    It is full of worms.

  74. feedingfashionistas says:

    we’re at a party
    everyone’s staring at screens
    phones more fun than life

  75. SAMANTHA6000 says:

    Beautiful piece of

    Modern technology can’t

    Send picture message

  76. Andy B says:

    Bought a new i-phone
    Hands sweaty with excitement
    Hence slider won’t work

  77. davidmaguire says:

    I plug in power
    plug in plug out again
    no vibrations, anywhere

  78. marsha says:

    naughty bat – tease me
    then drop signal yet again
    and I’m powerless.

  79. Jacksonbaker323 says:

    Girlfriends Blackberry
    it hit the cats waterbowl *splash*
    now double the calls

  80. JC says:

    Going to Japan
    International roaming
    is ridiculous

  81. mr_quetzalcoatl says:

    I find my iPhone
    is more than alright – it’s just
    my thumbs that need help

  82. Chris O says:

    ATT death star
    holds my phone in icy hands
    jailbreak required

  83. Hawkviper says:

    Running in the rain
    My iPhone is my stopwatch
    Turn back on, back-light

  84. Jonathan P. says:

    Smart phone, sometimes dumb.
    No picture sharing for you!
    Hmm… no app for that?

  85. dculberson says:

    Iphone beckons me
    But Bell flaunts constitution.
    Palm pre? Oh, Sprint sucks.

  86. funwithstuff says:

    It’s all good really
    just that app-based net access
    is presumed naughty

  87. Mastertahj says:

    Dropped like I was hot.
    AT&T, you are not
    so kind to my calls.

  88. sbz says:

    No floaters today,
    but i know whats been down there.
    Jesus phone submerged.

  89. Michel C. says:

    Two years I used you
    Waiting on the 3GS
    You bricked too early

  90. bop says:

    The sun is shining
    BB calling about a prize
    But it didn’t get through

  91. supagold says:

    Oh for more battery life:

    Little slab of black
    Your fire will burn so brightly
    That death comes today

  92. Steven says:

    Iphone way too slow
    T-Mo: No 3G for me
    Still, I’m a fanboy

  93. Jvalver says:

    Sucky built-in cam

    No way to load from real cam

    Summer wanes pic free

  94. workergnome says:

    A glimpse of falls past
    reflect in the spiderwebs
    that crisscross my screen.

  95. membrain says:

    Rapture in the ether
    Magical future device in my hand
    Aluminium plastic white sky opens

  96. Anonymous says:

    Softbank with weak waves
    My power slips away
    No longer a phone

  97. keyfur says:

    do not have iphone
    can’t hate what i do not have
    a molskine for me?

  98. ChrisP says:

    App interaction
    Remains a fan boy’s dream. Why?
    No multitasking

  99. johnny_action says:

    Inspiration hits
    itching to type words here
    denied real keyboard

  100. dirtdirt says:

    you always ask me
    when pulled from denim darkness
    “slide to power off?”

  101. Tabibito says:

    Silly GPS
    Gets reflected off buildings
    where am i going?

  102. tripone says:

    out of warranty
    genius bar d-bag helps out
    thanks for the free phone

  103. Gimpel says:

    the rose bloom falls off
    with expectation I waited
    no! to google voice

  104. Anonymous says:

    there once was a big lad named Chris,
    he put his hand in his pants ‘LOOK AT THIS’
    I needn’t have worried ; though my escape w’fair hurried

  105. tripone says:

    new phone arrives dead
    barely holds a fucking charge
    juice pack would be tits

  106. Doug says:

    a tear tracks my face
    Left but an empty shell I
    phone jailbreak don’t take

  107. Chris McCrudden says:

    Like cherry blossom
    The iPhone too fast withers
    Useless in my Palm.

  108. unmoris says:

    I lost my iPhone
    At Inglorious Basterds
    Just today… pause… sigh

  109. Hank says:

    iPhone email comes
    I want vibrate with no sound
    No joy, both or none

  110. mack says:

    no i’m not all thumbs
    no i did not mean “ducking”
    swear WITH me, iPhone!

  111. tony says:

    many apps on screen
    i long to use them all but
    my battery died

  112. giantnegro says:

    Sorry, can’t talk long
    The sun sets and the leaves fall
    My battery dies.

  113. Toasted says:

    Apple shiny goodness
    Crap AT&T Service
    Dreams of jail braking

  114. JMcArthur says:

    This phone is good for
    Everything under the sun
    Except speaker phone

  115. rak0ribz says:

    Taking her picture
    The preview disgusted her.
    Damn my greasy ears.

  116. Steven Leckart says:

    I really want one,
    Too bad I’m disqualified,
    My poetry rulz.

  117. kamill1 says:

    i will call you back
    after i beat Rolando
    nevermind, phone’s dead.

  118. JPickering80 says:

    Smart phone, sometimes dumb
    No picture sharing for you!
    Hmm… no app for that?

  119. Brad S. says:

    No front-side webcam
    for Jetsons’ video calls??
    Tim Cook, you’rrrrre fired!

  120. PandaOnRock says:

    Last chance to reach her
    I call, it rings, then silence
    Hope turns to despair.

  121. teflon says:

    Tried to buy iPhone
    Ma Bell won’t take my money
    Bought a blackberry

  122. subliminati says:

    New? Fast? Three G S!
    After upgrading I find
    Battery is shit


    Google Talk would rock
    A T and T to their knees
    No free calls for us?

  123. airshowfan says:

    I love tethering,
    Google Voice, emulators…
    Jailbreak is a must.

  124. .apostle. says:

    iPhone Safari,
    why are there only 8 tabs?
    seriously. why?

  125. jmendonsa says:

    not the toilet, phone!
    after a week of drying
    i’m stuck just texting.

  126. Brosef K says:

    Sussss. Bur-rap! Oh, crap.
    Steve needs three weeks to approve
    My hot new fart app?!

    (I even made it rhyme, bitches. Do I get to pick the color? I am Brosef K. Tip your server).

  127. Anonymous says:

    iphone is sexy
    even my old crap samsung
    could send a picture

  128. mkultra says:

    I love you so much
    little iPhone so perfect
    shit: battery’s dead

  129. OHF says:

    Why buy an iPhone
    Support sucks in Canada
    My Samsung vibrates

  130. td0239 says:

    My iPhone looked great
    My girlfriend was impressed
    But now it’s cracked and i’m lonely

  131. just some guy says:

    Five dollars to cut
    and five more to paste, you say?
    Fuck you, I reply.

  132. drdarz says:

    A bitter eclipse
    of my pocket monolith’s
    meager energy

  133. vetnoir says:

    3.0 comes out
    MMS can’t be done now!?!?!
    Fuck you ATT!

  134. Brad S. says:

    I keep checking back –
    The Neverending Contest.
    There’s an app for that!

  135. Brosef K says:

    Okay, here’s one that completely fails to honor the 5-7-5 format (damn your four syllable monkey wrenching, Gil!), but I include it anyway for the amusement of all:

    AT&T, what’s the dealio?
    It’s like each iPhone comes
    With a little Amelio.

  136. Westerly says:

    My first-gen iPhone
    Got kicked to slower network
    I feel so unloved.

  137. Albert says:

    Pristine front and back
    Now there are scratches on both
    Wish I’d put in case.

  138. ttybear says:

    My home screen is sad
    It wants it’s Google Voice back
    damn AT&T

  139. enealio says:

    Email, News, and Games.
    But I waste my time with a
    Pretend Lightsaber.

  140. Bennett says:

    Lucky I didn’t
    Load this page on my iPhone
    In the USA

  141. Travis says:

    Darn AT&T
    This phone won’t work at my job
    Neither at my home

  142. Boyce Dimaala says:

    iPhone Battery
    Will not hold charge for so long
    Now, I am mad pissed

  143. david reno says:

    tethers of empire
    cut loose by a rebellion
    now black brick to hold

  144. CoolKidd says:

    iPhone battery
    Will not hold charge for so long
    Now, I am mad pissed.

  145. Kevin L. says:

    Restarted iPhone.
    iTunes reset my podcasts.
    Well, that is just great.

  146. Rob Beschizza says:

    Thank you all so much
    I guess AT&T sucks
    The contest is closed.

  147. doozerd says:

    can’t place in pocket
    I swear to god it’s a phone
    why am I so scared?

  148. ESQ says:

    Too poor for iPhone
    Paper is a luxury
    Hope I win second

  149. Cole says:

    3G 3 year term
    obsolete after one year
    3Gs full price

  150. xsuperstore says:

    I prefer a real phone
    like nokia 5800
    sorry sorry apple.


    free online store

  151. dukerayburn says:

    the future of phones
    apparently lacks MMS
    last-gen feature, Steve?

  152. Adam says:

    Immense string of text
    winter hands cannot re-type
    and no copy-paste.

  153. np says:

    80 bucks a month?
    And locked to AT&T?
    Uh… I don’t think so!

  154. iPhone, now it let’s me
    post haiku gadget, juicepak.
    Soon, I will press on -to submit
    19% charge… ? …dismiss.

  155. Mope says:

    iPhone, broken screen
    two hundred eighty dollars?
    you thieving bastards

  156. Brain Juice says:

    Web page loading near
    Excitement becomes a tear
    Flash needed, I fear

  157. Naganalf says:

    Browsing the app store
    Category exclusion?
    I only see games

  158. kitsune2049 says:

    sorry, can’t e-mail
    or IM, or GPS
    just two percent left

  159. willionaire says:

    Haiku don’t rhyme and 5-7-5 syllables is not de rigeur. (Though the following does adhere to that scheme)

    With a poor network
    And hope of Flash unfulfilled
    Still, it is flashy.

  160. Art Pitcher says:

    Got a new iPhone
    Even with bells and whistles
    still don’t rule the world

  161. eideal852 says:

    now contract! expire…
    verizon holds my testes.
    but maybe thats good.

  162. Tyler says:

    Someone sent me a
    Multimedia message
    View via the web

  163. willionaire says:

    Haiku don’t rhyme and 5-7-5 syllables is not de rigueur. (Though the following does adhere to that scheme)

    With a poor network
    And hope of Flash unfulfilled
    Still, it is flashy.

  164. mayoclinic says:

    boy summer concert
    ocarina on the couch
    no cut and paste ap

  165. Rob says:

    crack on the back side
    dying battery within
    crap cam above all

  166. Ben says:

    more bars more places
    AT&T, where are these
    places? I… (dropped call)

  167. microcars says:

    Wife has iPhone 1
    Summer comes, buy a new one
    She wants the compass

  168. Josh R. says:

    installing o.s.
    3.0 means apps take days
    to load and run… blergh

  169. fersheezytaco says:

    I love you I phone
    why are you AT&T?
    now my calls get drop…

  170. Icaruswing says:

    long brown clay like phone
    fall free into the maelstrom
    from my end begin

  171. Stitch says:

    I… Hello?… Hello?
    my iPhone is terrific
    AT&T stinks

  172. bazzargh says:

    Sideways pic, turned, stays
    on its side; something is wrong –
    I can’t pin it down

    (look at http://twitpic.com/fdivl/full in your phone, and try to turn it the right way up. I want to pin the screen to stop rotation for pics like this.)

  173. mr.skeleton says:

    All the Internet,
    Available everywhere,
    Except here and now.

  174. Anonymous says:

    I had an iPhone
    I was poor so I sold it
    Worst mistake ever

  175. Bryan says:

    just one happy day
    please let no sore eyes awake
    to dead battery

  176. Tollundmanden says:

    I’ll turn down the light
    Wifi and bluetooth are off
    A dim glowing brick

  177. microcars says:

    2g 3g 3Gs
    I have had them all
    but I am not satisfied

  178. Ryan says:

    Check out this picture
    Background worthy, text that here
    Cannot, Iphone says

  179. Kringle says:

    My phone wont turn off,
    Was just over a year – scoff,
    Seventy dollars?

  180. gabrielm says:

    My lesson is learned.
    Use the phone everywhere, just…
    not in the shower.

  181. google voice says:

    Google Voice reject?

    No, continue to study

    The apple it does

  182. gabrielm says:

    Is there an app yet,
    for creating the haikus…
    on this stupid phone?

  183. cowperthwait says:

    Playing Hookie

    No, boss: never heard.
    iPhone ate your calls and mails,
    so I just stayed home.

  184. LeavingReligion says:

    dialed nine one one
    reporting fire on the hill
    beep beep the call failed

  185. kleer001 says:

    I bought this black box.
    Spoon fed the revolution.
    Ashes in my mouth.

  186. Kent Geek says:

    Winter In Akron
    Loved one calling for romance
    Off faster, damned gloves!

  187. Clay says:

    Squeals, bursts, trickles, runs
    Waves of filth reverberate
    There’s an app for that

  188. bn says:

    dropped mine down toilet,
    case smoothness proved slippery,
    now it works like…

  189. ChrisP says:

    App interaction
    Remains a fan boy’s dream. Why?
    No multitasking

  190. SM/AEIOU says:

    My friend Ai
    asks me why
    her iPhone die

  191. S2 says:

    unringing iPhone,
    your power cannot make her
    longing slow or solve

  192. Chuck says:

    Once bought an iPhone
    two weeks later 3gs
    Goddamnit Steve Jobs

  193. Angstrom says:

    “Play David Bowie”
    Woman in pocket replies:
    “calling Aunt Laurie”

  194. gabebot says:

    Headphones in or out?
    My iPhone cannot discern
    Filled with pocket lint.

  195. Anonymous says:

    you phone are not mine
    I must steal what I have bought
    I am dissapoint

  196. Yit says:

    The Apple iPhone
    My dedicated rimshot
    sound effect machine

  197. the_case says:

    edge cutting phone tech
    three-point-oh no MMS?
    may-be late this year

  198. carrot23 says:

    Wave of the future
    Wonder of wonders my life
    F*#@in DRM!!!!!!!!!

  199. Michael says:

    Checked it out: no sale.
    Bought a blackberry instead.
    Do not need the prize.

  200. caipirina says:

    Lost in the mountains
    ‘summer, all calls to voicemail
    why won’t you float, phone?

  201. adambravo says:

    tracking my meetings
    but no repeating alarms
    am I late again?

  202. Colin says:

    Tension breaks once more
    Network unavailable
    Slide to power off

  203. caipirina says:

    Lost in the mountains
    ‘summer, all calls to voicemail
    why won’t you float, phone?

  204. Nerdron says:

    Is Steve Jobs a god?
    Many people seem to think.
    I just like the phone.

  205. mcl says:

    Volts under the hood
    Current ebbs away too fast
    I need a juice pack

  206. Derek Lewis says:

    Form over function
    A phone for yuppies, not geeks
    I miss my Treo

  207. Hunter MacDermut says:

    Early morning rise
    I’ll check e-mail in the bed
    Ugh, stop landscape mode!

  208. Smaniac says:

    glass seems fragile, strong
    plastic seems durable, cracks
    iPhone enigma

  209. fattyboombalatty says:

    ordered 3Gs
    but I live in Canada
    so I’m still waiting

  210. skyboy says:

    Got used to soft keys
    Can deal with split inboxes
    But Pearl’s homescreen? Missed.

  211. whoseblues says:

    Early morning rise
    I’ll check e-mail lying down
    Ugh, stop landscape mode!

  212. towlemonkey says:

    New baby arrives
    “Please send pictures via text!”
    MMS silence

  213. Chizu says:

    Softbank with weak waves
    My power slips away
    No longer a phone

  214. eddy123 says:

    Why I can’t even send one simple photo or contact through bluetooth to my friends who are not using iPhone with no internet package?

    Sent from my iPhone


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