Steven Leckart

Video: Unboxing The Fleshlight

When I tweeted about needing to get a hold of a Fleshlight, I wasn't entirely kidding. One BBG reader answered my bluff call, put me in touch and, well, now I've got a real-life Fleshlight [NSFW] in my home... actually, TWO: a pink-flesh-colored one shaped like a woman's hoo-ha vagina and another transparent one shaped like a, uh, butthole (!) an anus.

To be continued...

Steven Leckart

Celebrity Hard Drives

For only $20, you can have a racy graphic of Kim Kardashian added to your hard drive.

Or a skin of Domo. Or Wu-Tang Clan. Or even Bob Marley.

One love, Seagate.

[via Gearlog via New Launches]

Steven Leckart

Power On Self Test: Spooky Lamps

Steven Leckart

"This Is Going To Be Such A Rad Tweet..."

Lisa Katayama

Water carbonator looks like a sex toy

This looks like a deformed dildo, but it's actually a kitchen tool, a home water carbonator for those of you who prefer agua con gaz over normal tap water. It was designed by Aemillios Grohmann and André Kieker for water treatment machine maker WasserMaxx.

via MoCo Loco

Lisa Katayama

Advisor: Don't let social networking ruin your social skills

The head of England's Roman Catholic Church is worried that social networking is costing people &mdash especially teenagers &mdash their social skills. Is he right?

In an article published yesterday in the UK's Telegraph, Archbishop Vincent Nichols, the man in charge at the Roman Catholic Church in England and Wales, blamed the Internet for causing things like bad community relations, shoddy friendships, and child suicides. "Too much exclusive use of electronic information dehumanizes what is a very, very important part of community life and living together," he said. And then: "Among young people often a key factor in them committing suicide is the trauma of transient relationships.They throw themselves into a friendship or network of friendships, then it collapses and they're desolate." He was speaking in response to a recent incident in which 15-year old girl killed herself after a bout of bullying on Bebo.

I get where he's coming from, kinda. There is something deeply impersonal about the way information is relayed on social networks. In the past year, I've found out about half a dozen engagements, four weddings, two divorces, two deaths, and scores of newborn babies via Facebook updates. When I want to know what my friends are up to, I check their Twitter feed. Twitter is also where most intelligent daytime discussions take place &mdash why bother meeting someone for coffee to discuss current affairs when you can do the same with two hundred people at once on Tweetdeck? I don't remember any phone numbers anymore, let alone addresses or birthdays &mdash Facebook has all those answers, too. Maybe the Internet really is making me socially retarded. It must be even worse for kids who are growing up now and have never known an analog era.

I understand the Archbishop's concern, although I do think he's overreacting, especially with the transient relationships stuff. Relationships are transient everywhere, not just online &mdash in fact, hating and un-friending can be just as hurtful, if not more so, when they take place in the real world.

By the way, it appears &mdash although I haven't been able to verify whether this is his actual account &mdash that the Archbishop himself is on Facebook. So is the Roman Catholic Church. So if you want to ask him what he meant by "transient relationships," you could just send him a direct message. Or we can discuss it here in our very social online forum. Even better, grab a colleague or two, invite them out for a drink, and have a face-to-face conversation about it.

Advisor is a new weekly column about how to juggle technology, relationships, and common sense. Got a story to tell? Email it to mango [at] tokyomango [dot] com.

Lisa Katayama

Advisor: The case against iPhones in the bedroom

Illustration by Rob Beschizza

When Brian first brought his iPhone home, it was like he'd taken a mistress. All day, all night, he fondled its touchscreen and gawked at its shiny face. He couldn't keep his eyes off of it for more than five minutes at a time. Like a good Japanese girlfriend, I let him get the lust out of his system instead of trying to stop the inevitable. I pretended not to care while he lay in bed smoothing his finger across the unlock bar, and sat stoically at the other end of the dinner table as he and the iPhone whispered sweet nothings to each other.

I get it. It's exciting to be in love with something new. But after several months of this, I started to question whether something was being lost because of my boyfriend's intense iPhone infatuation. Did we still have stuff to talk about other than new apps and ATT's shitty cell phone signal in our neighborhood? Was I just hating because I subconsciously want an iPhone, too? After he got over their initial honeymoon phase, we decided to lay down some ground rules. It took nearly two years to figure out the right balance, but I think we've finally got it down. 

Rule #1: It's not romantic to have an iPhone in the bedroom. Brian once said that every time he goes online, he feels like he's meeting a bunch of friends. Well, I don't want a bunch of friends in our bed. He tried to use the "my phone is my alarm clock" excuse, but it was worth investing $10 in a cheap alternative at Walgreens not to have a phone in the bedroom, especially one that commands so much attention.

Rule #2: It's not cool to invite the iPhone over for dinner every night. This one's a bit tricky, because as much as I despise sitting at a table with someone who is tinkering with his phone the entire time, anything longer than a half hour without it makes Brian antsy. It's a delicate balance. I usually let a short half-minute peek slide every now and then, so he can scratch what itches. 

I don't mean to sound like a luddite. I also like to send text messages and check email during the random intervals in my life. I just think that for a relationship to work, we can't forget to make real human connections, especially in bed or over a good meal. 

Advisor is a new weekly column about how to juggle technology, relationships, and common sense. Got a story to tell? Email it to mango [at] tokyomango [dot] com.

Steven Leckart

Video Gallery: The Humanimal Kingdom

Using bodypaint, makeup, teeth and other prosthetics, people are succeeding at some pretty mind-blowing transformations. Not to knock furries, but there's a big difference between putting on a fuzzy suit and adding prosthetics and silicone to alter the bone structure of your face. These folks, namely Russian Model Alex Kovas, really go the extra mile:

(Not the best artistry, especially compared to Kovas, but bonus points for doing everything himself quickly and opting for the Rolling Stones as a soundtrack.)

Steven Leckart

A Visual History of Cosmetics Gadgetry

Like the mobile phone, cosmetics is a fantastic example of a product category where the main design constraints are mobility and pocketability. From efficient, easier-to-use lipstick tubes to more compact compacts, we've proposed, then invented some pretty neat/wacky/seemingly-obvious/ingenious stuff for carrying, applying and removing makeup and other cosmetics.

Pictured is a patent for an eyebrow stencil kit from the late 1980's:

For the purpose of mobility a pair of wing shape stencils is connected by a nut and screw passing through the elongated slots which allows the stencils to move horizontally and vertically. This procedure allows the adjustment of horizontal distance and an angle of the eyebrow cut-outs simultaneously.

Seemingly helpful. I don't know why all eyebrow pencil pushers don't carry these today.

After the jump, check out inventions dating back to the late 1890s...*

*Note: this is by no means a complete history, just stuff I found intriguing. If you've got any particularly fun ones I missed, please leave info/links/suggestions in the comments.

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Steven Leckart

Video: Hot For Tools Demos

A girl named Erica is hosting a new video podcast on YouTube that teaches home repairs like hanging a door, removing grout and using the Saw Stop. Erica wears low cut tops which reveal a pierced bellybutton and lower back tattoo. You may be surprised to hear the videos are sexually-suggestive:

"The only thing I like more than working with my hands is a guy who knows what he's doing."

"I measure 36"... from the floor to the doorknob."
If the pin does not go in... lube may be required.

All of the videos end with a gag reel, which should help endear her to you.

Joel Johnson

The Facebook Username Debacle

Anil Dash:

June 13, 4:04pm: A white guy named David discovers every variation of his name on Facebook is already taken, and finally reconsiders the condescending contempt he's always had for black people who give their kids unique names. This tiny bit of racial reconsideration is the only unequivocally good news to come out of the Facebook Usernames launch.

Steven Leckart

Review: 1 Night w/the ThermaPAK Cooling Pad

I'm pushing 30, which means I've officially entered that stage of life where self-preservation becomes less about avoiding pain, and more about boosting my chances of reproductive success*. In other words: regular health check-ups, infrequent jacuzzi and always a pillow or jacket between the MacBook and my precious, heat-sensitive manstuff.

I tend to forget to use such protection, though. That's why adding a ThermaPAK to my laptop bag seems like a no-brainer**. Small (13.5" X 11.5" X 0.5"), relatively lightweight (23 oz.) and reasonably-priced ($30), the pad contains "phase change material" crystals (sodium sulfate decahydrate), which melt to help absorb the heat output from a laptop battery, then crystallize back up when they cool after use. The quilted-like surface on the laptop side also comes into play. According to the manufacturer:

ThermaPAK's pad grooves channel air under the laptop, and use the second law of thermodynamics (which states that heat will tend to flow from hot areas to cold ones to reach equilibrium) to draw heat from the laptop.

I can attest to the reduced heat. Last night I sat with the laptop in front of the TV and then in bed. No issues at all in terms of keeping my junk cool. The pad did it's job and was mostly comfortable (feels similar to the lead apron you wear for dental x-rays, only lighter). However, the top surface is a tad on the slippery side. The first few times I leaned forward, my computer nearly flew off the pad. Not a deal breaker, but something to be aware of.

The company claims these pads can extend your laptop's battery life. My experience: at 10:43 pm, I had 19 minutes left on my battery. By 11:11pm, I had 8 minutes. At 11:16pm, 3 minutes (while running iTunes, Firefox and TweetDeck).

How the pad may have affected my sperm count, I can't say for sure. But piece peace of mind is irrefutable.

*I don't have children, but I do want at least one.

**I've never used a USB fan, which is another option.

Steven Leckart

HOWTO Sell Surf Wax [Hint: Make It Sexually Explicit]

How do sell a product to a bunch of kids who won't even use it? SEX.

Growing up, all my friends had stickers for Mr. Zogs Sex Wax plastered on our binders, folders and skateboards -- even though a lot of us didn't surf (myself included*). Heck, some people even chewed the wax as gum (and still do, apparently). Zogs had that classic logo and cool name (via inventor Fredrick Herzog III), but what it did best was give good innuendo. Packaging with phrases like "The best for your stick" and, later on, "Quick Humps."

It's well worth noting Mr. Zogs is no longer the only wax manufacturer who took Marketing 101. Surf Research's history of wax pointed me to a few even more explicit waxes that combine explicit taglines with risqué packaging.

• Sticky Deck: "For those who want control when things get tight"
• Mother's Milk: NSFW packaging
• Vyagra: "Stay Up! Use only if you're ready to go hard"

Ooh lah lah!

*Unless you count boogie boarding, which you shouldn't.

Joel Johnson

Mechaphilia: Whatever revs your engine

Edward Smith is a mechaphiliac who claims to have had sex with 1,000 cars. He's currently dating a VW Bug named "Vanilla". [Telegraph via Jalopnik]

Joel Johnson

Online dating in war zones

USA Today (via Danger Room):

"It always amazes me when I think about how I had to go to Iraq to meet the person I would be with back in the United States," says Jonathan Stoddard, 26, who met Lisa Wagner online while serving as a Marine lieutenant in Anbar province and married her in Fullerton, Calif., last Oct. 26. ... Their first get-acquainted chats were over a satellite phone with Jonathan huddled outside -- to get the uplink -- dressed out in helmet and body armor.

Joel Johnson

The interior design of '70s Danish pornography

A blogger has excerpted decor and fashion highlights from '70s Danish print pornography in such a way as to make them more-or-less safe for work. The above example is probably not the most illustrative of the collection, which is more lamps and furniture, but is too precious not to share. [via @RichardMetzger]

Lisa Katayama

How drugs and technology help attain motherhood

Some people want to be moms--really badly--but it's hard for them to get pregnant. Alison*, a San Francisco web designer, thinks about it every day. "My ambition in life is to be a mom," she says. "My career is secondary." But her body isn't geared towards pregnancy, and the list of things she has had to go through to try to get pregnant reads like a medical textbook--biopsies, birth control pills, blood tests, ovulation inducers, progesterone, temperature-taking, sperm-testing. "I feel like I'm waiting for someone I already know," she tells me. "I think about it every day."

It's been 32 years since the first test tube baby was delivered in the UK. Today, fertility clinics offer a whole slew of technologies for getting pregnant (IVF, IUI, GIFT, ZIFT), but they're expensive and can be invasive. IVF--in-vitro fertilization, a common technique whereby doctors inseminate the egg in a lab and then transfer the embryo back to the woman's womb--is safe, but can cost up to $20,000. "If you could get pregnant naturally, you wouldn't need these technologies," says Dr. Masood Khatamee, who is the executive director of the Fertility Research Foundation in NYC. "But if you wait too long, then you might never get pregnant."

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Steven Leckart

A history of Star Trek porn

From Sex Trek: The Next Penetration and Deep Space Sixty Nine to SexyTrek.com, a fetish site [NSFW], the galaxy of Trek porn has continued to, uh, grow.

io9 compiled a fascinating guide with vids, pics and links [again NSFW]. Some flicks do a relatively-clever job of tweaking original plot lines and character names:

The adaptation of "The Man Trap," "The Man Eater," is also pretty faithful, including the fact that she's Doctor McJoy's former fiance, and she can transform herself to look like anyone. Except instead of sucking the salt out of people, she sucks the...

Prediction: JJ Abrams' prequel will affect this genre of porn by instigating a call for better special effects and dialog.

Rob Beschizza

SteamVibe: "Stainless steel, brass and awesome."

The name of Ani Niow's SteamVibe suggests. Catching sight of the thing itself sends an eyebrow heaven-ward. Finally, the name of the Flickr set sweeps away any remaining ambiguity: steampunk vibrator.

You're probably asking, does it really work? the answer is you betcha. its been proven to work (and vibrate) off of compressed air, I'm seeking a more powerful boiler than my pressure cooker so I can actually run it off of steam so please let me know if you know of one.

More photos, and details of its construction, are at The Lady Cartoonist: "[It's] machined out of a solid hunk of stainless steel (no easy task), and fitted with the world's itty-bittiest Tesla Turbine."

A steampunk robot penis machined in similar fashion to current-gen MacBooks? I think someone divided the Internet by zero.

steampunk vibrator [Ani's Flickr]

Steven Leckart

Hot Chair On Chair Action: SFW (Kinda)

"Check out what happens when Mr. Overstuffed decides to give a "full interview" to a hot colonial number named Tawny!"

I thought "chair porn" was obscenely-priced fare from Herman Miller. I was wrong. It's also photos of suggestively-positioned furniture.* FurniturePorn's design is wonderfully atrocious, as are the quality and clarify of the photos. My biggest gripe: not nearly enough content and zero video (hint hint).

The captions tell you all you have to know...

"It's a beautiful day... for hot gay teen lawn chair slut humpin'!"

"Baby did a bad, bad thing."

"I think deep down you want to be punished."

Yes, it is. Yes, he/she did. And, yes, he/she sure does!

*Yes, I realize Mark posted this 9 years ago. It's worth revisiting.

Update: NSFW

(thanks Inverse Square!)

Lisa Katayama

Tantra chair, for people who love sex

If you love sex but can't find the perfect furniture to do it on, get the Tantra Chair. The web site has a very graphic, NSFW guide on different positions you can try on it. It's $1199, but the things you'll experience on it are priceless.

Product page

Lisa Katayama

Sex with the cable guy: does it really happen?

Jordan, a gorgeously cute, freckled blonde, was looking to have her phone line installed so off we go to do what we do best, satisfy the customer. After looking at the disastrous mess of cable and wires at her place it was obvious to me, we didn't have the right equipment to do the job. Jordan, however, had a different job on her mind and I definitely had the right tool to take care of that. Watch me plug my cable into Jordan, and box and jackhammer that tight socket at T1 speeds.

Sex with the cable guy--it's a fantasy that has become a regular sexual obsession in our society, especially among bored housewives and other stay-at-homes. There's just something about blue collar man in uniform coming over in the middle of the day when the kids are at school and the husband is at work to satisfy all your entertainment needs--TV, Internet, daytime sex with a stranger. There are pornos with titles like Cable Guy Sex and Blue Collar Butthole (yes, the latter is gay porn) and Time Warner even produced a promotional calendar last year that featured 12 hot hunky cable guys with bulging muscles doing things like, cooking a delicious meal for you in their hard hat.

"It's the 21st century version of our grandmothers' sex with the milk man and our mothers' sex with the plumber fantasies," says Carol Queen, who runs the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco. She also points out that, with the increase in the number of female cable people, there could be a secret lesbian angle to the fantasy, too. Keep reading for more cable guy porn scenarios and to read about my ongoing quest to find out whether sex with the cable guy actually happens.

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