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  1. Remember the Legion of Super Heroes annual that had Darkseid commanding a bunch of brainwashed Daxamites to sculpt an entire planet into his image? I think that that’s what will eventually happen to Earth, only it’ll be Hello Kitty.

  2. Laser projection? They’ll just carve a giant Hello Kitty face right onto the moon with a huge laser.

    I love that now every time I run over a kid with my bike, I can say I did it out of love, the Hello Kitty imprints on their face says so.

  3. Not the most substantial tread I have ever seen.
    Are these tyres manufactured by the now infamous
    Di Yung Tyre Company?

  4. These look like sidewalk/subdivision pavement-only tires. If you were to encounter rough terrain or a slick patch, the only good thing about these would be that as the CSIs examined the mangled remains of you and your bicycle, one of them would have an unexpected cute moment.

  5. #6: Believe it or not, when you’re dealing with the round profile of a bicycle tire, slicks work quite well on pavement, even when wet. I’ve been running fat slicks on my recumbent for years.

    However, they fail in mud, sand, or snow, and for ice, studded tires are best.

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