"Auto Suck" Road Head Simulator Reviewed (Verdict: "AAA")


In this pun-filled review, Freddy and Eddy gave the "Auto Suck," a cigarette lighter-powered fellatio simulator, an extremely positive score.

Value priced at $38 the Auto Suck is worth every penny. It’s perfect for road trips, camping, trucking, a limo ride, or just a quick lunch hour spent in the car. The power cord is easily long enough to reach just about anywhere in the vehicle, including the back seat. No emergency kit should be without it.

The Auto Suck is available for around $40, should you need to fantasize about getting road head from Sy Snootles.

Auto Suck [FreddyAndEddy.com] (Thanks, Bryan!)

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  1. From the Wikipedia article on the Max Rebo band:

    The band members appear in Star Wars literature as jizz-wailers

  2. #3: My guess is that the packaging says something like “Don’t use in a moving vehicle under any circumstances” just to cover their asses. As if.

  3. Regardless of how it feels, this is the least erotic looking sex toy in the world. Stick your dick in a hair dryer, why don’t you. (A hair dryer with lips, no less.) It makes the fleshlight look like Tera Patrick.

  4. There is a surprisingly large number of sex addicts in the world. Oh yes, you can make the joke and laugh about how everyone’s a sex addict, but if you were to actually go to a sex addicts anonymous meeting, where all of people in the room think they are “addicts” in the worst sense of the word, and ask, “How many of you have had, or nearly had, a car crash due to your sexual addiction?” every hand would go up.

    Damn near every sex addict has a car crash because they were “distracted” by their sexual behavior.

    And that is why I tell my wife to stop driving like a maniac. Because someday, the person in front of her is going to have an orgasm and lose control of their vehicle, and she won’t have enough time to avoid the accident.

  5. “…We got a zillion little gadgets to keep your mind off the fact that its getting too big too fast. Why there’s even the Auto Suck which is designed to take care of your anxiety over it getting too big too fast. You know, the Auto Suck, the little gadget you plug into your car lighter and stick on your dick so that while you’re racing from one doodad to another you can shoot your cookies over all the pretty girls you don’t have time to stop and fuck. And believe me, gizmo broadcasting knows how obsessed you are with sex, because they’ve shot a lot of hot neon pussy through your tubes, trying to get you to buy every doodad under the sun…so they have created the Auto Suck especially for you…but I digress…”

    -Harold in Patrick Meyers’ ‘K2’, 1980.

  6. i’d be really hesitant to stick my dick in something that plugged directly into a car’s cigarette lighter

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