Sternreiter alarm clocks will wake (or make) the dead


Many alarm clocks have come out in the past few years, trying to get you from hitting the snooze button by requiring you to perform some act of groggy, post-oneiric dexterity (like hitting a target with a laser beam) or a teeth-grating act of pseudo-robotic annoyance (like an alarm clock that rolls off the table and goes rushing around the room, squealing).

Still, why accomplish with circuitry what you can accomplish with ear drum bursting sound? The $49.95 Sternreiter Twin-Bell alarm clock ring at a volume of over 86db. There is no snooze. You either wake up, turn it off, then vomit out your heart, or your friends find you a week later, lying in a pillow puddle of your own gelatinized brains.

Sternreiter Twin-bell Mechanical Alarm Clocks [Alarm Clocks Online via Retro Thing]

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  1. Very retro and cool looking, and I see that they are made in Serbia (that’s where my wife is from so I notice stuff like that).

    But… since it’s a mechanical, wind-up model, those of us who are dedicated snooze-heads won’t have much trouble just jamming a pillow over our heads until the spring winds down.

  2. The “Wake & Shake” (under loud alarm clocks) from the same company apparently hits 95db. That should do it.

  3. If you need more volume to wake you up you can just put the clock face down in a metal bowl; that racket can raise you from horizontal & asleep to vertical & awake without passing through any states in between.

  4. Electric shocks? I bet you could rig a bed pad to shock you and then control it from an alarm clock. Could also double as a sex toy for those with discerning tastes.

    Hell, why not just set up a flame thrower and hook it up to your alarm. Come six am and it sets the house on fire. That’ll get you out and running.

  5. Am I missing something here? Or has just no one noticed that is just an alarm clock? Non digital alarm clocks are still pretty easily available. What’s the hooplah?

  6. You may be missing something #7. A $12 Westcolx or Timex offered at discount stores have nylon gears and cheap guts and you’ll tire of the constant adjustments to the fast/slow lever attempting to achieve some accuracy. A good clock (Wehrle, Sternreiter, or vintage Westclox) is constructed of brass internals which wear much slower and will last a good many years. Plus, it will not fail during a power outage like will an electric clock if you forget to replace the backup battery. While not everyone is in the market for a $50+ clock it is one of the few remaining segments where you can get what you pay for.

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