Font Haiku

And now, an interlude.

Loathsome Comic Sans'
uneven inky slugtrails.
That vile, hated font.

Transparent? Get real.
Sickeningly self-conscious.
Yep, Helvetica.

Trebuchet MS,
Web designers sick of want
use you, but still weep.

From the seventies,
Not one thing or the other:
It is Optima.

Let's make a movie!
Oh, in that case you must use
Manly Trajan Pro.

Arial, the clone
But not of helvetica.
Grotesque is its sire.

Georgia, Verdana,
Sprung from the internet's loin
Liked but never loved.

The cheapest sherry,
Expensive invitations,
Demand Zapfino.

Add your font haiku/senryu/limerick/whatever to the comments!

Update: Someone's had this idea before!

Published by Rob Beschizza

Follow Rob @beschizza on Twitter.

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  1. Rob, my wife’s favorite font is Comic Sans. She has it all over her business cards, website, etc. She’s going to be so hurt that you called it “loathsome,uneven inky slugtrails”. I guess I won’t tell her… just to spare you some flaming. 😀

  2. #9 – Matthew, actually she doesn’t. She sees how much time I spend here and she doesn’t want to get sucked in. 🙂

  3. [And yes, I know Bauhaus way predates the 70’s, that’s just what era it brings to mind for most people.]

  4. Default menu used for
    anything ‘ethnic’; Papyrus you are
    Sadly still overused

  5. bb gadgets the blog of haters
    hard to read sans vitriol osmosis
    flee for terminal in beloved Consolas 9

  6. Hrm, no edit? That last one should be:

    We made a new site
    We wanted it 2.0
    So we used Georgia

    The syllable count is important!

    Hoary Staple of
    ’60s TV Credit Crawls,
    It’s Dom Casual

    During the seventies,
    What T-shirt saying wasn’t
    set in Cooper Black?

    HOBO 1
    Breathes there a man with
    soul so dead as to think “Hey,
    Hobo might work here”?

    Hobo, bane of good,
    would seem a joke on a warning
    label; one could die!

    Playboy Mansion, Bob
    Culp’s Nehru jackets, swinging;
    This face is at home.

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