JumpSnap: the ropeless jump rope revolution!

A plucky businessman, accidentally receiving a shipment of futuristic dildos from his Chinese suppliers instead of the usual selection of jump ropes, ingeniously markets them as the JumpSnap, the world's first ropeless jump rope! Because jumping rope to jump rope is just too hard! That last sentence was something of a snarky joke, though truth be told, my muffed sense of equilibrium does make jumping a rope an exercise in frustration. Still, hopping up and down and swinging my arms around like a small child dizzy on lemonade is free.

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