Shredmaster Jr. pursues welfare Guitar Hero demographic

How successfully can Guitar Hero be emulated with a cheap plastic plug-and-play guitar and no video game console? Very successfully, if the methodical abortion of fetuses from up to 100 yards away is a criterion for excellence. Otherwise? Not so much, although that does sound exactly like Metallica's "Master of Puppets," doesn't it?

Make sure to watch until the player activates Star Power. To think of all the kids who ask for Guitar Hero for Christmas only to have their oblivious parents piss right in their mouths when they instead unwrap Shredmaster Jr. on Christmas morning. Curiously, though, I'd still rather play this than Guitar Hero: On Tour.

Update: Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is somehow even worse...

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16 Comments

  1. Everytime I see some of these cheap electronic knock offs (like the Vii) I feel a sort of sadness inside. I can just imagine a kid who is all excited about a birthday or Christmas, maybe his family doesn’t have the money and they purchase one of these little knock offs for the kid. 🙁

  2. my favorite thing about this is that they put a blue blob into the texture on the fretboard that just about runs into the blue circle, which would confuse the hell out of me.

  3. I am reminded of the moment of glory in the South Park episode about these sorts of games.

  4. For a very specific reason, #9! When Bobby Prince did the Doom soundtrack, Romero handed him Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” as one of the tracks he wanted Doom to sound like. Prince essentially just rewrote it and released it as E1M1.

  5. Don’t you think the term “welfare Guitar Hero demographic” is a wee bit cruel? I’m a writer, and because of my unpredictable income, I live on the edge of the poor section of town. I see kids walk to school with their cheap clothes, and I’d bet a few of them have this toy. They didn’t ask to be born poor, and in most cases their families are struggling enough without having better off folks pity or make fun of them.

  6. Hmm, I wonder if someone found a stack of old FM MIDI synth chips in a warehouse and came up with this as a scheme to get rid of them?

  7. When I was a kid, my family couldn’t afford expensive toys. I have fond memories of the kids at school with Gameboys calling my second-hand Alien Attack game “welfare”. I sure wish someone had informed my parents that they were obliviously pissing in my mouth.

  8. Yes, because Guitar Hero is some kind of high gaming art! Look, everyone hates rock band drums and everyone knows that singing games are too easy, but they loves their guitar – I get it; but given how specific the guitar controller is – why not a quick and dirty dedicated unit?
    This game type could have been done almost as well on 80s units like the atari and intellivision – certainly the c64! I don’t question its appeal or funfactor – only the necessity of a several-hundred-dollar console to play it.
    Anyone out there dying to play but can’t because of “the ring of fire”? Nuff said

  9. kittenfoo,

    Maybe you are right, its not “right” to make fun of those born poor, its much better to make fun of people whose career choice leads to a life of owning crap like this. Enjoy!

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