Trisaksri Ghost Repellent

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Boondee.net is selling the "Trisaksri Ghost Repellent", a hand-crafted box that detects spirits, snaps an "invisible picture", then converts that image into a "WAVE KILLER" circuit that creates an electromagnetic blast that scares away any specter. They explains:

You or someone may have experience with ghost or devil after bought new second hand house from the former owner. Some houses may have bad spirit inside which will interfere your daily life unhappy and frighten your children. Finally many of you leave away the house and find a new home. We have a solution for you, "Trisaksri Ghost Repeller". Just place this device in side your house and switch ON. All ghost and devil will leave away your home and won't come back again. Now who run away, You or ghost ? Save money in finding a new home.

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26 Comments

  1. its the streams Rooney, the streams!

    I really hope whoever is working on the new GB film starts leaking stuff like this early to tease the film. It would kick ass to see Ad’s for anti-ghost stuff like…

    Whoa…Could it be?

  2. Announcement (!) from the manufacturer, on their website:
    “Since the 5th March 2009 we launch this product, we have received a lot of complaint where you can read the comments on various forum on the internet. Most people against this product which made us unhappy, so we will wait about 2 more weeks if the feedback is remain negative we may decide to terminate Ghost repellent out of our product ranges. Herewith, we apologise for the uncomfortable sensitive caused to you at this time.”

    Go Swordfish

  3. the best part is at the bottom of the page.
    i want the Universe Adventure Telescope to see badly dressed aliens with.

    FAQ

    * What about my house has a good spirit of our ancestor protect my family, would this machine kill their spirit ?
    Ans. The machine can distinguist the phenomenon signal input, good spirit and bad spirit has its characteristic, the device will ignor or skip the good spirit.
    * What happen if we unplug the machine at later time, how can we sure the ghost won’t come back again with more angry ?
    Ans. The machine is smart than ghost, fear and not return. You did not battle with ghost, the machine fight with ghost for you.
    * How can i know my house has ghost ?
    * Ans.We can not tell you, you are the only person face this experience yourself. For e.g. having bad dream or nightmare every day, some abnormal noise in the night, fear in the night, etc.

    Announcement !

    Since the 5th March 2009 we launch this product, we have received a lot of complaint where you can read the comments on various forum on the internet. Most people against this product which made us unhappy, so we will wait about 2 more weeks if the feedback is remain negative we may decide to terminate Ghost repellent out of our product ranges. Herewith, we apologise for the uncomfortable sensitive caused to you at this time.

    Thank you,
    Boondee Laboratory
    11th March 2009

    Our next project : Universe Adventure Telescope

  4. I loves me some magical electronic gadgetry.

    My favorite recent gadget is the Hulda Clark “Cure for All Diseases” Zapper, which is claimed to kill intestinal parasites, and also bacteria and viruses. (Mine is vastly improves over Clark’s original design, since it incorporates powerful magnets and crystals.)

  5. As a big fan of cheesy ’80s Hong Kong horror/comedy films, I approve of this product!

    Also “Now who run away, You or ghost?” sounds exactly like an English title for a cheesy ’80s Hong Kong horror/comedy film! Seriously, if you wanted to come up with a sentence in the style of these movie titles, you couldn’t do better than this!

  6. The article inspired me to write the following story: (it is CC by-nc-nd licensed with all initial copyrights held by me, Milosz Derezynski, and reprinted here with permission of myself, but precluding transferral of initial copryights to BoingBoing)

    —————————–

    “So, how does this work, again?” asked John Withard. “I will explain, sir.” said Kiu-Wan Zhang. He, and his business associate, Stephan Langenheimer, had joined the Withard family about an hour before lunch at their new residence.

    John Withhardt was about to become a new owner of a ghost repellent device. After buying this new house, after living in a very sterile, yet very big apartment with all of his family for years, they devised a plan to finally move into a new home. They did so, but after some time things started to go wrong. “It just didn’t feel right”, his wife Marsha used to say. The kids complained about monsters under their bed, and when John Withard one night opened the hatch to the attic, and an old piece of cloth fell down on him, he nearly got a heart attack. It turned out to be a nice piece of cloth, by the way, a scarf, something his wife became to quite like. But, it also lead to John giving her a very stern, and somewhat anxious look everytime she wore her new garment.

    Finally, John decided to invite the business partners of Paraze Inc., who sold a new, and as John found, interesting invention. A “ghost repellent device”. He figured that if ghosts were roaming their new mansion, and caused all these terrible things like his children being scared, then such a device could only be of help. Even if it were not ghosts, how could a device like this be wrong in *any* household, like a dishwasher or a vacuum cleaner. Or so said the advertisement by Paraze Incorporated.

    “So, sir. This is an imaging module. It is basically a camera, but the light spectrum it is able to photograph far exceedes the capabilities of, for example, the human eye. It is not only an infrared, ultraviolet, or radiowavelength camera, but in fact all of these imaging systems combined.” “Mhm, interesting.” John stood before the device, his hand folded under his chin, looking interested at the device, having no idea what the thing was all about, nor really caring all too much.

    “The combined imaging system allows for residual energy readings to be detected, and combining the entire spectrum, we are able to filter out images which might be ghosts, spirits, or other entities passing through the layers of the reality as we perceive it, and in their transience, quite like friction, they leave an energetic residue in the fabric of our universe.” “Ah. Well, that is certainly very efficient.” John still wouldn’t know what to say. Meanwhile, his two daughters, Melissa and Julie had joined the demonstration, staying a certain distance, but anxiously listening and watching. Kiu-Wan Zhang tried to throw them something like an encouraging cheer, but it didn’t work quite so well as both of the children immediately looked away and down at the floor, in shame of not being able to approve this not-quite-so-successful demonstration of Mr. Kiu-Wan’s.

    “So what do you do once you see a ghost? I mean, that’s what is, isn’t it? Seeing a ghost?” – “Yes sir, we ‘see a ghost’.” said Stephan Langenheimer, with no noticeable German dialect. At least that’s what John had expected, even though he wasn’t really sure whether Mr. Langenheimer was German. Mr. Langenheimer gave Mr. Kiu-Wan a barely detectable but pretty much saying-it-all look while calling it ‘seeing ghosts’. It would seem like a look saying “maybe we should just call it that the next time ourselves”.

    “Once this.. machine of yours sees a ghost, what happens then?” – “The signal is processed by the machine hardware, and the kind of spirit is identified by analysing patterns in the scanned image. After that, it gets very interesting.” now Stephan Langenheimer gave the kids a very stern, excited look while stressing the last words of his sentence, “very interesting”. The kids albeit would not give any way, and just smiled impishly and waited for him to continue. Realizing this, it is that what he did.

    “Once the spirit is identified, the Emotion Phasewave Emitter, or EPE, is activated. It contains for example one paradiode, which is basically a feedback resonance memristor connected to a specificially designed coil, and is able to emit emotions of guilt.” John didn’t know what to say, since this was certainly not what he had expected this thing to be. Emission of emotions, this is very interesting. “Please, continue.” He was still looking very jovially interested at the device, making a fanning out motion with his hand while begging to continue.

    “So..” Kiu-Wan Zhang had noticed John’s momentary distraction “.. I will continue?” – “Please, yes.” – “So, the matter is this: spirits are often ridden with guilt, unbearable guilt, since most if not all traverse this world in search of something lost, some past that they, in their madness, vaguely remember, in their wrath blind to anything but getting back the life they had.” Stephan Langenheimer interrupter Mr. Kiu-Wan: “Our current theory is that there is a heaven. There is a heaven, and all spirits, and I mean all, go to that place, level, stage, form, whatever you want to compare it to, once the spirit leaves the body when you die. However, since they are ridden of guilt and remorse over the mistakes of their past, and so desperately try to get back to this world that their mind is demented, and they can not see, even though being there, where they actually are, and so they create themselves a personal hell.”

    John’s wife had in the meantime also joined the meeting, however at the last statement seemed to become uninterested and with a look of “well that may be so” left the room, probably towards the kitchen (where else would she go to John wondered? Maybe there are things his wife never told him yet! How fascinating.)

    “So, soo… how does this emotion thing in your device help eliminate the ghosts?” – “It emits emotions of guilt.” Stephan Langenheimer suddenly smiled very anxiously. He corrected himself: “Of course only perceivable to the ghosts.” Mr. Langenheimer anxiously looked around, but everyone, other than him, was still looking very serenely at the small cube-shaped device on the table with it’s blinking lights, with the occasional Kid looking with big wide eyes at Mr. Langenheimer or, but rather rarely, Kiu-Wan Zhang. “Is it active now?” – “I’m sorry? Yes, it is active right now.” – “Ah. So how does this — emotion-thing remove the ghosts? Destroy? Eliminate?” John couldn’t but laugh a little chummily.

    “The emotions of guilt will overwhelm the ghost and it will, if not dissolve, since its cohesion uh…” Langenheimer was looking for a word. Kiu-Wan Zhang hesitated for a second, then said “Matrix.” – “Yes. The Cohesion Matrix.” Langenheimer looked at Mr. Kiu-Wan with a look stating to never do this again. They wanted to seem fully legit, which is of course what they were. John said, “So basically, you torture the.. ghost, and it dies. Well, that is, it is already dead but..” John was a very fidgety person, rolling eyes all the time, twisting his fingers, shaking back and forth with his upper body.

    Kiu-Wan Zhang stepped in: “Yes sir, they will die. They will finally turn into an intert state. The situation is so that after the state they uh.. are, well, after heaven, there is nothing else. It only depends on how you perceive this place, ‘heaven’, in how it appears to you.” Langenheimer wanted to interrupt: “After…” Zhang took the speech back to him: “After we overwhelm the spirit with emotions of guilt, it turns inert. It is neither dead, nor alive, for all we can tell, if we can tell anything at all…” Langenheimer cleared his throat looking at Zhang. “..which we certainly can”, Zhang continued, “but after this procedure it is unable to do any harm anymore.”

    How disgusting, John thought. Dead.. well, dead-dead ghosts traversing his home all the time, unable to act, but still there, like some sort of dirty seaweed floating through water. Or perhaps just like some bad haze, or.. “Hmm.” he said.

    Unexpectedly, Melissa stepped forward. She was already 11, and was really not shy, but a quiet child. Mabye she had ADHD, but none of their parents would even know what that was. So she asked: “Sir.” – “I’m Mr. Langenheimer. What is your Name?” he asked, after getting a confirming look from Melissa’s father. – “Mellisa.” She continued without break: “Mr. Langen–heimer.” She looked down, hesitated, but finally said: “You scare the ghosts?” – “Uh.. Well, we. It is more technical than that. You see this paradiode is a device, you know like.. your TV’s remote, or.. it, well you know, these spirits are not real humans anymore.” – “How do you know they are not real?” – “Well they do not interact with this world. Interact, you know, they can not really do anything. They can just scare you because you feel their presence and their uh.. negative emotions, their feeling-bad.” He tried to explain it in a child-friendly way but was not quite sure how much he actually did need to simplify it for the child.

    “Yes but. In heaven, you said the dead people can see it like they want? It can be very beautiful for them if they feel nice? Sir.” – “Yes, Melissa, this is basically true.” Stephan Langenheimer gave up trying to anticipate where the girl’s questioning was leading to.

    “So, Sir. Why do you not send good e-motions to the poor ghosts?” – “The.. what?” Langenheimer and Kiu-Wan Zhang were suddenly very confused. “To make them feel better.” Melissa smiled. “You know, if they would feel better, then maybe they would not make.. make us feel bad too. Maybe they would make us feel good. If they feel good. It would be an nice place for them.”

    Kiu-Wan Zhang and Stephan Langenheimer were baffled. Why.. well, yes. Of course you can use a paradiode to emit serenity, or one for happiness, or oscillate a single multiphasic paradiode between serenity and happiness at an interval below the sensory response time of the spirits, which, hmm… so Zhang thought, would make it actually quite cheap, that is, cheaper than two separate paradiodes, but nevertheless, still much much more expensive than the paradiode emitting guilt. A guilt paradiode was around mere 200 UNO[1], yet a paradiode emitting happiness cost around 600 UNO, one emitting serenity around 780 UNO, at least that’s the cheapest supplier he could think of right now, and an oscillating paradiode capable of emitting both, cost, well he was wrong, it seems it would cost at least 1150 UNO. How could he think a multiphasic oscillating paradiode would be cheaper than 1100 UNO?

    “Well.. uh.” Kiu-Wan Zhang tried to give an explanation. Stephan Langenheimer tried to continue instead. “Sir, this device..” He patted the device, rather firmly, expressing some tension. “.. costs a mere 429,53 UNO. If we, uh, were to..”

    John smiled. He was not looking at the device. He looked as his little daughter. Melissa still looked at Mr. Langenheimer. Mr. Langenheimer, in great dire, looked at Kiu-Wan Zhang. Kiu-Wan Zhang tried not to look anywhere in particular. “Thank you gentleman for your demonstration, but I think that we are not really in need of a device like the one you are offering.” said John, and after a brief, very silent moment, Kiu-Wan Zhang and Stephan Langenheimer disabled the device and placed it into a transportation locker.

    Quietly they said a firm, businessman-style goodbye, and then, left.

    “So, what’s for dinner today? You were in the kitchen, were you not?” asked John – “The *what*?” his wife replied, who just re-entered the room.

    ———-

    [1] UNO: Global currency, named after the UNO as a currency for all the world, akin to the Euro, which was named after Europe as a currency for all of Europe.

  7. ERRATA

    Pardon the small errors in the text, I wrote it down in one single run in the course of an hour and did not proof-read it.

    * “After buying this new house, after living in a very sterile” should be “After living in a very sterile”

    * “not being able to approve this not-quite-so-successful demonstration” should be “not being able to approve this not-quite-so-successful communication attempt”

    * “with no noticeable German dialect” should be “with no noticeable German accent”

    * “However, since they are ridden” should be “However, since some are ridden”

    * “How fascinating.” should be “How fascinating!”

    * “Mr. Langenheimer anxiously looked around” should be “Mr. Langenheimer looked around”

  8. “When a family in encounters strange sensations and happenings in their newly acquired house and invites representatives from a ghost busting device company in order to acquire one, a little girl learns that negative emotions are always the cheapest.”

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