You have an iPhone. You are dismayed by some attribute or experience associated with said iPhone. Accordingly, you will write a Haiku in the comments to this post expressing said dismay. You will as a result win a Mophie Juice Pack Air battery pack, an $80 value described by Joel Johnson as the first case that I've considered keeping on my iPhone for a long time.
Runner-up wins a Moleskine knockoff. Go!